Freshers’ Fortnight: Reality vs. Expectation

Saying ‘Freshers’ Fortnight’ conjures images of constant partying, maintaining a constant state of drunkenness and generally testing the limits to which you can push your liver, without turning your skin “Lauren Branning yellow”.

#Pray4Lauren

With these expectations, it’s easy to overlook the fact that when you arrive at university, you probably won’t be under the influence of anything; you won’t know anyone and you’re pretty much on your own for what is probably the first time. Being a fresher is terrifying so don’t expect it to be wild from the moment you say bye to your parents.

Soon you’ll develop some brilliant friendships but first you’ll need to get through the second-rate conversations known as ‘Freshers’ Chat’.

Conversations will tackle world-changing topics like; “What films do you like?” “What kind of music do you listen to?” “What books do you read?” Someone will mention something you like and you will become so overwhelmingly excited that you can’t help but mutter “I like that too”, in your phone voice. Fear not though! Such awkwardness will only last for as long as there is a lack of alcohol and that won’t be long.

You’ve made important steps, these people will be your friends, they will share your thoughts and will provide excellent company during your stint as an inmate of Lazkaban.

Lazkaban … minus the dementors

Expecting to go to some of the best club nights ever during Freshers’? It’s unlikely. At the risk of sounding outrageously hipster, all Freshers’ nights’ playlists will be unbearably mainstream. You may be thinking “that’s ok, I like mainstream” but you would be underestimating how little variation there will be between each night’s playlist.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking the uni will go easy on you because you’re busy being drunk and making friends. They WILL place 9am lectures periodically throughout Freshers’ Fortnight, despite being completely aware of how unlikely you are to turn up. Personally, I found it much more comforting to expect myself not to make it to any lectures in the first week, that way, if you do make it to a lecture; you can congratulate yourself on being so committed to your degree.

Don’t expect to learn anything from these lectures either; partly because they’re welcome lectures and just tell you to read the module handbook, and partly because you won’t be able to process what the lecturer is talking about. Still, it is useful to go to them, if only to get to know your course-mates and to get yourself used to getting to campus hung-over.

If you’re expecting sex to be everywhere and for you to be able to pull hundreds of beautiful and desperate women, or men, with no effort at all; don’t. Living on your own for the first time is immensely liberating and doesn’t carry the risk of an “awkward encounter” between partners and family members; but by no means does this guarantee sex.

Getting very, very drunk and going out with people you’ve only just met is only half the Freshers’ story though. Don’t expect not to suffer the dreaded “Freshers’ Flu”. You might get to the end of Freshers’ events having suffered nothing but a mild hangover and would be forgiven for thinking you’ve got away unscathed. You haven’t.

If you are embarking on Freshers’ Fortnight 2013 though, don’t let this article mislead you into thinking it’s not all it’s cracked up to be, it really is fantastic. Freshers’ is the beginning of your own independent life and realistically what better way is there to assert your freedom than spending a fortnight getting very, very drunk in a completely new town with people you’ve only just met?

The best advice for any fresher about to start Freshers’ Fortnight is don’t expect anything. Just be yourself, take full advantage of everything you’re offered and talk to as many people as possible. Freshers’ Fortnight is such a brilliantly bizarre and surreal experience that is different to anything else you will have experienced. Enjoy it! It will only happen once and trust me, you’ll miss it.