Everyone you would have met in your Leeds uni lectures, if we weren’t in a global pandemic

Can’t run into these people on Blackboard

Unfortunately for people new to Leeds this year who are experiencing uni life through their laptop screens, you’re missing out on meeting some real characters in your lectures. But not to worry, we’ve done some research, analysed our results and have compiled a list of all the people you would have met in your lectures – it’s almost like you’re actually there.

The Very Vocal mature student

It would be fine if they just answered the lecturer’s questions but I’m not paying 9 grand to listen to Karen debate the professor on content that isn’t on the syllabus because she’s clearly been doing some extra reading and I haven’t read a book since year 12. I’m tired, just teach me the content PLEASE.

The guy who has just woken up

He’s just rolled out of his halls single bed, is probably still hungover and this is probably the one and only lecture you’ll see him in all year. Never has a pen, and always looks a little confused. Bless, at least he’s made the effort.

Sound guy

The rugby boy downing a pint next to you at 9:30am because “initiation”

Really, Brian? Right here, right now? I’m about to puke all over the conference auditorium.

Down it, Hugo

The preppy girl who makes you feel like a complete failure

Her notes are highlighted to the nines, and she still uses those thin felt tips to make them look even prettier. She’s always done the extra reading, and her mere presence makes you feel like the personification of a 2:2. Not the person to sit next to when you turn up with a stubby pencil and half a sheet of spare paper you stole off your housemate as you ran out the door.

King of Staedtler highlighters

The international student who 100% knows more than you

This person is definitely judging when you ask them what the module code or the date is. They’ve travelled the globe for their education, so they’re here to get their degree and can’t be arsed with your home-student antics. It is 9am on a Monday José keep your judgy looks to yourself.

The guy who turns up to every lecture but just sleeps through all of them

Definitely lives at Oxley and woke up at tragic-o-clock to get to Uni in time for lectures. 10/10 effort, -1/10 execution.

To be fair, a vibe

The one who strolls in 20 minutes late and walks out 20 minutes early

To be fair, it does take about 20 minutes to navigate to any given lecture room in Roger Stevens and once inside its so depressing I would also like to leave early. I commend you, sir.

And he still manages to get a first

The edgy Leeds guy/girl

Cue the mullets, flares, cigarette breath and outright feeling of inferiority that comes with being in their presence

Can smell the baccy from here

The Rich kid

She’s just spilt her Starbucks coffee all over her Macbook Pro but its ok because Daddy just sent her money for a new one. Definitely lives at Charles Morris. Definitely only came to Uni because her parents bribed her with a new Range Rover.

Is that scarf vintage Gucci?

That one other person who is just as clueless as you and will become your rock throughout your degree

You lock eyes in the first lecture, and there’s a mutual understanding between you that everyone else is horrendous, and you two are the only normal people in the room. Shoutout to you guys. Love you more than Crispy’s cheesy chips xxxx

Pure love xx

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