The six definitive types of people you’ll meet on a night out in Glasgow

Grandad? Why you not at the home?

The dirty pint drinkers, the alumni of 1952, and the endless sea of glitter clad white girls dancing to that 2005 Rihanna hit.

Inevitably, these are the types of people you’ll meet on a night out in Glasgow – whether you like it or not.

The old guy

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Legen…wait for it….dary

This pre-historic creature is not in his natural habitat. It's ventured from its humble television chair and ready meal tray to the club. No one knows if he has come to reminisce about his youth, or if he has gotten lost while on his way to the 1am bingo.

All we know is that he hasn’t had a party like this since 1945.

The rugby lads

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Lovely

The uncrowned kings, the society that all societies love to hate, the group that makes it seem worth it to strip for £2 pints. These mountains of men come to the club with one mission and one mission only: to make as much masculine noise as possible while wearing Disney princess costumes on a Wednesday night.

The circle dancers

Now these people are the friend-zone squad. Usually made up of school friends and flatmates. You may see a boy thrown in the mix but make no mistake, his presence in the circle has instantly made him a friend-zone zombie. He won't be pulling tonight

The post grads

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The fallen heroes, the veterans of 2010 Freshers' Week. Unmistakable by their jumpers and receding hairlines with a few stray greys. These students don’t just ‘go out’. They’ve been writing 3,000 words a day for the past three months and they NEED TO PARTY. Hammering back the £1 shots like it's Ribena, these guys know how to party.

The lecturer

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Invalid, error. If you see these people in a club then your probably at an AA meeting Christmas party. GET OUT NOW.

The band of trendy technoers

Looking like they haven't washed or slept in a few days, we hate to admit that these guys actually look quite cool. Caps, sweatshirts, fishtail braids and swinging jaws, this crowd parties hard. They'll keep to themselves, swaying away in a group techno trance with closed eyes and a rollie tucked behind one ear.

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University of Glasgow