Say hello to Glasgow’s very own anonymous Agony Aunt
Q is here to advise on all your dilemmas
Ever wanted to be able to ask an awkward question anonymously from the comfort of your own home? Get brutally honest advice without being judged or laughed at by your pals? The Tab Glasgow has come up with the answer to all your problems – here's your chance.
Call me Q. As a First Class graduate from the University of Life, I guarantee that I have been there, and also done that. I've been through enough to start an Agony Aunt column – luckily for you, that's exactly what's happening. Uncertainties, queries, curiosities or just seeking a second opinion – you name it, I'll answer it.
You can submit your questions totally anonymously by following the link at the bottom of the article and I'll respond every fortnight in an 'Ask Q' Tab special. No dilemma is too big or small, squeamish or offensive. All Ask Q questions and articles are handled exclusively by yours truly and NO ONE knows who I am – so your secrets are safe with me. Ask away and brace yourself for some hard hitting-ly helpful entertainment.
Some have already heard whispers of my Glasgow Uni campus knowledge and endless experience. Thanks to these two who have sent in their pressing questions already.
"Dear Q, My balls are really itchy all the time and I’m too embarrassed to tell anyone about it. I slept with this girl my flatmate likes and am scared I’ve caught something and he’ll find out where from. What do I do? He can’t find out he’ll kill me."
Slap some sudocrem on the little buggers and head straight to the Docs. If it's nothing, no one needs to know anything. If it's something, inform the lucky lass and offer to rub some sudo on her crem too. Once things have settled (emotionally and scratching-ly), sit your flatmate down and just be honest with him. Most people would rather you shagged the person they fancy than developed feelings for them. Maybe he won't fancy her anymore since you gave her the clap anyway? Peace owt, Q.
Fister on the Loose
"Hi Q. I have a flatmate who insistently steals things from my room. It started off as pens but now I'm missing socks, an extension lead, my toothbrush and my childhood toy panda, Fister. How can I stop her nicking things and where the f*k is Fister?"
I suggest that she sees a psychiatrist, and you have a re-jig of your room. Put your socks in your wardrobe, your toothbrush on your bookshelf and voila. It might be worth investing in a lock for your door and some night-vision cameras as well. Eventually, you'll have to sit her down and ask her what her deal is, as awkward as it seems. Invest in a fairly neutral friend as a by-stander for this. As for Fister, I'd try to find a new one. But perhaps don't go looking on Google. Good luck, Q.