Life at Exeter in 10 conversations

You are exactly the same person as literally everyone else here

‘We have a couple of hours off for lunch, let’s go to the Ram…’

“…Oh, it’s full. Pieminister?”

“Ugh, the queue’s too long and there aren’t any free tables…”

“…..fuck it, let’s just get a sandwich from the Marketplace.”

How early do you have to get here to actually get a table?


‘The Marketplace is SO EXPENSIVE’

“I know right, and unless you buy your sandwich before 11am all that’s left is cheese and pickle or egg mayo.”

“…who buys their groceries here?”

Why is the queue sooooooo long?

‘How is the Lemmy still this shit?’

Have you got a ticket for Saturday yet?

‘Mate, I strawpedo’d four bottles of VK in five minutes last night.’

“One of each flavour. Except for black cherry, that one’s disgusting.”





‘Why are there SO MANY hills here?’

“Do you think I smell this morning? I just walked here up Cardiac.”

“How is it even physically possible for there to be this many hills?

“Well at least I don’t need to buy a gym membership, I’ve had my workout just getting here.”

When you just can’t deal with forum hill

 ‘How was TP last night?’

“Mate, I managed to pull three rowers, two hockey players and a Fresher on top-top last night.”

“Well I had the most amazing burger and barely even had to queue, so I think we know who had the better night.”

‘Why the hell are there no seats in the library?’

“I pay nine grand a year for this shit and I cannot even get a seat here. WHY AREN’T THERE MORE SEATS.”

Fine, I’ll just sit right here on the floor then, see if I care.

‘How can the queue outside Costa be this big?’

“I know I should walk down the corridor to the Comida truck but I NEED my gingerbread and cream latte”

 ‘Why did I not just buy a ticket for Cheesy’s? Why do I NEVER learn’

Maybe if we go to Monkey Suit for a bit the queue will go down?