I went to the Edi Christmas Market and here’s what I discovered

The only Christmas spirit here was the whiskey

Okay, so I dearly love Christmas. I love the music, lights, food, films, you name it – if it is Christmas related then I love it. Growing up I was lucky enough to visit a few different markets around the UK, and truly believed that the Edinburgh one was one of, if not the best.

It had stalls aplenty, food variation, great Christmas songs, rides, mazes, the whole nine yards.

And so, imagine my disappointment when walking through the market this year, only to discover it’s only one level. And of that one level, 93 per cent is food stalls, 5 per cent are rides, and the remaining 2 per cent are fairly generic yet also slightly tacky gift stalls.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love a bit of tacky. But how many mystery hat bags do we need??

Now, I know that the Christmas market has spread throughout Edinburgh, with the ice rink on George Street, and Santa’s Grotto to be found in Princes Street Gardens. For me, having it all spread out just makes the atmosphere feel a lot less festive. But still, for a student in dire need of some source of serotonin, what can you expect to find at the market?

Well as usual there are the slightly dodgy looking fairground rides, although sadly this year the swinging chairs have not returned. However, we are greeted by old friends such as the yeti, Ferris wheel, carousel, and that other ride that you should be wary of if you’ve had anything to eat in the past five hours, as you will be seeing it again.

The other entertainment takes the form of fairground games, which as we all know by now are a complete rip-off. My boyfriend pledged to win me a big stuffed bear, only to have to pay £5 for four darts. Sadly, no bear was won.

In terms of food, I would recommend taking out a second student loan. I paid £7 for my Nutella crepe, and it was a sad, sad crepe. It turns out crepes and Nutella do not like -3 degree temperatures, and within a minute of receiving said crepe, the Nutella turned cold and hard, and the crepe itself became rubbery. If you’re not a fan of crepes, then other classic food offerings can be found such as German hot dogs, a grilled salmon sandwich, and chips. Despite there being about 10 individual food stalls, they all sell slightly different variations of those three foods.

Drinks are sadly no better, all being ridiculously overpriced and as my friend sadly had to inform me, no Baileys hot chocolate. I will give those of you who need it a moment to compose yourselves and wipe your frozen tears away.

And worst of all, the Christmas music was limited. Only a few stalls seemed to be playing the christmas tunes, and instead the outcome was an odd cacophony of mix-matched songs. Most stalls seemed to be playing pop songs, and a lot of stalls weren’t playing any songs at all.

I may seem like a grinch, but it’s the Christmas Market that’s driven me to it. Like a student finding out their exam results, the buildup was immense but, in the end, I have walked away with only disappointment, hypothermia, and the taste of congealed Nutella in my mouth.

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