Here is every type of Edinburgh student you will find in the library right now

Let’s be honest, you’ve probably been all of them at some point

Deadline season is fast approaching and, once you’ve finally been able to find a seat, most of our days now unfortunately consist of being sequestered to a desk for hours at a time in the jail-like library of George Square. The silence is deafening, lights are blinding, and you can almost smell the stress, coffee and lack of sleep from a mile away.

From the people unashamedly having a public breakdown (we’ve all been there) to those who passionately treat the fourth floor like it’s their second home, the library really does perfectly encapsulate the variety of characters you find at uni.

So, whether you’re a permanent resident who would passionately defend their seat with their life, or a newbie who’s only resorted to the library when in the depths of an essay crisis, here is every type of Edi student you’re bound to find upon arrival:

1) The person who never stops talking

Lets be honest, we’re all slightly guilty of this. There’s something about being told not to talk that suddenly makes you feel obliged to tell your friend all about what you had for dinner last night or recount the exact details of your most recent night out from start to finish. Not to mention that now the booking system has finally been dropped there is a slight thrill at maybe actually knowing who you’re sat next to again.

However, whilst a quick convo is fine, those people who genuinely treat the library like its some sort of coffee shop need to be stopped. There’s nothing quite like having your music on full blast and yet still finding yourself distracted by the sound of intense whispering going on for at least ten minutes that generates internal passive aggressive rage.

Even worse, these individuals also love a good library snack, happily opening up and devouring an entire bag of crisps louder than you could have ever imagined possible.

2) The wanderer

Ranging from those poor souls who are embarking upon their fourth loop of the floor and yet are still unable to find a seat, to those who are just straight up procrastinating, it’s not uncommon to see many a wanderer in the library.

For some unknown reason, walking around the library is actually so embarrassing, and it’s the first time you realise just how productive everyone else is being and can’t help but get increasingly stressed.

It’s also likely you’ve encountered those wandering back from grabbing a “quick snack” (which then inevitably turns into an hour-long catch up sesh with their bestie) who, despite being in their fourth year of uni, are now slowly descending into panic as they’ve lost their seat. This is equally embarrassing and somehow gives similar vibes to losing your mum in a supermarket.

3) The desk hogger

Picture this, you’ve been assigned a ghastly group project to work on and have all awkwardly met for the first time at the library. You get to a seemingly empty pod on the first floor before realising you’ve actually been catfished (a similar experience to thinking you’ve bagged a parking space before realising there’s a Fiat 500 parked in its place).

Those that hog pods, desks with computers (despite using their Macbook) or take up more than one desk are up there with the library’s most annoying occupants, having little regard for anyone else’s space or time as you continue on the ever-lasting hunt for a desk.

4) The fourth floor resident

The fourth floor is perhaps best described as a cult, compromising of library fanatics who set up camp daily at their resident desk and refuse to leave till the next morning. No need to worry about losing your seat or getting confused about the practicalities of taking a book out, these guys are absolute experts.

Unable to work in their flats (or perhaps just utilising the free heating and wifi that can actually load a 40 minute lecture), you’ll know a fourth floor resident when you see one: they just look so comfortably at home.

People that reside in the library 24/7 (especially those that frequently do all-nighters) always do so with an air of arrogance, almost as if they’ve discovered a cool and edgy hangout spot that nobody’s discovered yet. Spoiler alert – we all know about the library, we’re just choosing not to go in it.

5) The person having a breakdown

Ah, perhaps the most common type of student you’ll see around this time of year. Often rocking a large oversized hoodie, their baggiest trackies and a keepcup with the remanence of their sixth coffee that day, a breakdown student is a frequent library attendee.

Going through an essay crisis or inevitably coming to the sinking realisation that you’re getting nine grand in debt for a useless degree whilst Addison Rae earns millions by for a 10-second TikTok dance, there’s no better place to question the meaning of life than amongst fellow students.

6) The productive show-off

Perhaps the worst type of person to exist (especially on those days where you’ve violently hungover and have lost the entire will to live), for the show-off, the library is where they thrive.

Surrounded by ever-growing flashcards, hand-written notes and a folder large enough to have the entirety of the bible inside it, these individuals did not come to play.

In fact, they take the library so seriously the chances of them ever stopping for a break, let alone for a quick chat, is unheard of. Instead, the only audible sound heard is just the ‘tap tap tap’ of their laptop as they work away into the night.

7) The unashamed TV-watcher

No matter how intimidating the bright-lights and lined desks of the library might be, for some it’s just not pressurising enough, and they can’t resist sticking on a quick episode of Friends to enjoy.

These Edi students, though questionable, are perhaps some of the most brave and self-confident, able to completely disregard others’ judgements and stares in favour of a relaxing watch of their favourite show. Honestly, who can blame them?

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