We tested campus for cocaine to find out how much you sniff

The Tab has found cocaine all across Edinburgh’s campus.

Our investigation found that cocaine has been used in Potterow, the library and Teviot’s Library bar.

We swabbed spots all over campus in the middle of the day and found traces of cocaine in most of the testing locations.

The coke swabs we used are soaked in reactive chemicals that turn blue in the presence of the Class A drug.

These tests are 95 percent accurate in detecting street-level cocaine.

Location 1: Potterow Bathrooms

If it goes blue it’s true

Starting at the obvious. Potterow bathrooms. If there was ever going to be cocaine on Uni property you’d think it’d be in the vicinity of Big Cheese – no?

not one trace

Apparently the hike in VK prices has been hard on all your wallets because the first stop came up clean.

Location 2: Potterow Bar

Postive. Really Edinburgh, you’re better than that.

Location 3: The Library

Next on our list was the library. The last place on campus you would expect to find the white stuff – surely?

the guy was pretty shifty

Unbelievably the first table we tested, the quick use computers, tested positive.

Maybe the white stuff is what is getting you through those coursework essays…

Location 4: Teviot

Having just found coke traces in the actual library we were less surprised that the tables in the Library Bar in Teviot tested positive.

Who knew nachos and cocaine was such a good combo?

Location 5: ECA

Last stop. Edinburgh Art College. After finding cocaine residue in the Library and Teviot there was going to be very little surprise if it showed up in the Art College.

Funnily enough the bathrooms came up clean but on taking a trip down to the College’s Bar there was no end to the positive results.

Obviously the moral here is never to trust Colleges with their own bar.

Especially if they’re artists.

An Edinburgh University spokesperson said: “The University takes drug misuse very seriously and it is not tolerated on University premises. The use or possession of any illegal substance will be dealt with appropriately in line with relevant University policies.

 “The University promotes good health practices and seeks to maintain high standards of conduct amongst our students, in order to safeguard their wellbeing, personal safety and academic performance. Students who have concerns about the role drugs are playing in their lives can approach the Student Counselling Service or the EUSA Advice Place for free, confidential support.”