The thirteen stages of a Durham Easter holiday

Our holidays are long, some would say too long. Here are the highs and lows you can expect to go through on your highly emotional, solitary journey back to Klute.

1. Relief: “thank fuck that’s over”


2. Inability to move or do anything: “In, in a second, I’ll do it in a second”

fdhstjhagshfdikfytdxsmop jhc

3. Recuperation: “there’s a light, it’s coming closer”

Outa my cage

4. Utter boredom: “where is everyone?”

More pain than being that one emotional Dalek who has the sorrow of a universe crushing him from all sides

5.Think about studying: “at least I can forget how bored I am”

You in two more days

6. Missing Durham: “there’ll be Klute, and Jimmy’s and everything will be fantastic”

Despised by many, yet pitifully missed.

7. Procrastinating to the extreme: “I know, I’ll write a Tab article!”

Never put off till tomorrow what you can possibly do – the day after

8. Other friends coming back but they are experiencing stage 2: “come on guys! Let’s go do stuff!


9. Parttayyy

The party don’t stop till 2 people are dead and we’re disillusioned with the jazz age as a whole

10. Sudden revision panic: “I thought I was revising, but it turns out I’m learning stuff for the first time!”

Hang on man, I’m visioning

11. The slow realisation you’re an idiot: “Holy fuck I know nothing”

If you don’t pick yourself up I’ll shoot you full of arrows/kick you out of the uni

12. Forcing yourself into isolation: “Well, goodbye everyone, it was nice seeing you for like, a week.”

I’ll always be here, please, please don’t forget me

13. One of two feelings – “please, don’t make me go, I need time, more time” or “See ya later losers.”

Suck on my chinese nuts

but, but revision

Now get back to work!