Clubbers of the Week: Week Two/Three
No one is safe
Week Three has arrived and the honeymoon-period of Freshers’ Week is now well and truly over.
Now, even the most tawdry Girtonians, Land Economists and Drinking-Soc regulars have realised it’s time to buckle down. However, while the onset of work may be overwhelming, it sure hasn’t stopped Cantabs everywhere from having fun, if the photos The Tab Cambridge has found are anything to go by.
Yes, let’s have a look at what you’ve been up to in Clubbers of the Week:
Squads of the Week
Three weeks into Michaelmas, and the Fresher (maybe?) squads are on fleek. Well done to these winners who managed to fit the whole squad (and about half of Cindies) into their photo.
… and to these rather excitable Cantabs, who could really do with a few additions to their squad to the left.
Best-Dressed of the Week
For clarification, this week’s winner is the Cards Against Humanity girl in the centre, not the boy with the shell-suit-chest combo.
Instead of responding to the card, however, the real question should be whether she started drinking before she cobbled together the outfit: white cards are the answers/nouns.
Still, playing Cards Against Humanity on your own is no-fun: please do offer up your suggestions for what Santa gives the bad children/Cantabs in the comments below.
It’s Sunday Life. People go to swaps dressed as animals. Deal with it.
There was genuine debate amongst the Tab Mafia over what our next Runner Up (back row, painted blue) was dressed as. The general consensus was somewhere between a Smurf and Avatar.
Overly-affectionate-friends of the Week
Because, the last time we saw this much love on film, it wasn’t publishable on thetab.com.
Here’s the category which celebrates all of the friends who can’t wait to tag you the next day, after forcing you to give them a piggyback or having nibbled at your ear/face.
Tattoo of the Week
Our next winner may have justified the creation of its own category, but it was worth it. In all seriousness, MJ is alive and well.
The creation of this category, in hindsight, may have been a mistake. When we shortlisted the Drunkard’s Corner photos, we only then realised the sheer number of Cantabs who would qualify.
It takes a special level of drunkenness for it to be the most comment-worthy facet of your club-photo. The girl at the back managed to make quite a splash with her squad at Tuesday Cindies.
Remember, co-ordination is key when the squad assembles.
Townies of the Week
One of our most treasured categories. Forget the town-v-gown divide: fundamentally, Townies are here to remind supervision-addled Cantabs how to have some fun.
It’s a NO from Us
In 2116, Cambridge Anthropologists may study Dabbing. And once they’ve made their way through the rather extensive list of internet memes, they’ll eventually stumble upon this duo, who tore up Jelly Baby with their moves.
A few compromising dance-moves is horseplay. But when you’re taking multiple photos, and hogging the limelight from others (who may have made equally good fodder for Clubbers of the Week, but we’ll never know), then we know we have a problem.
Non-human/non-sentient Clubbers of the Week
Clubbers of the Week is of course rooted in misanthropy: celebrating all of our very-human mistakes we make each week in Cambridge’s clubs.
The Clubbers Project, if you will, hasn’t thus far allowed the celebration of awry non-human yet still anthropomorphised objects that cock-up on a night out in the same way that our own kin do.
So, the next time you think your friends are fake, full of hot air, or simply just very high, then spare a thought these winners:
Somewhere on a starship in a foreign Galaxy, Alien-tabs are being scrutinised on their own online alien-student tabloid. Now there’s a thought.
When we saw this lone Ninja Turtle breezing his way through Life, we thought he was a surefire winner in this category.
… before we realised he was a Cantab, masquerading as a Ninja Turtle:
Clubbers of the Week
Week Three has given us two winners of our namesake prize. Firstly, for this rather worse-for-wear Cantab, the night began with a healthy dose of blissful ignorance:
… before the moment of drunken-recognition that his inhibitions may be plastered all over The Tab:
Our other winner quite literally won at Life. Kuda may be sticky, and this winner went to some rather immense lengths to cleanse her hands as she battled her way through the uncouth basement under Waterstones, having made off with a soap dispenser.
Well, there you have it Cambridge. For another week or two, I’ll say my goodbyes. Stay tuned for a Clubbers of the Week: Halloween Special coming soon.