Meet Your Lent 2014 Columnists
All be standing: the LENT 2014 columnists have finally arrived! Stop blub-mourning the end of Sherlock and welcome your new playmates with open arms and fervent heart. Best columnists ever in the world or your money back.
Just when you thought it was safe to put your Terry’s Chocolate Orange back in the fridge, here they arrive: virile of pen, strapping of wit and probably almost as friendly to civilians as Jennifer Lawrence on public transport.
For the first time ever in Tab history, you will have 5 columnists at your disposal. Any Ask Jeeves search will tell you that not many good things come in fives, apart from arms on a starfish, toes on a left foot and series of Lausbubengeschichte.
We plan to prove Jeeves wrong.
Charlie Bell is one of the most misanthropic and gratuitously offensive people in the UK.
He prides himself on seeing the worst in most people and situations, but erroneously believes he does so with great charm and aplomb. He is also a confirmed homosexual.
He has been at Cambridge since before its founding and really needs to get out more, but in the meantime has blackmailed the Tab editors into giving him a column where he can spew drivel for the coming term.
Read Charlie’s first column on FRIDAY
With a habit of ending up in the back of an ambulance, having post-drinks in ‘The Other Place’ (if you thought Girton was a long way home..) and believing the best in everybody she meets, this Johnian Geographer has certainly made a few memories in Cambridge.
Though her time here has been filled with attempting pretty much every sport with a stick, another ‘unlucky’ accident and a rather more sedate past time was required. So over the next eight weeks she has taken up the challenge to convince the kind people of Cambridge that Geographers really can do more than colour in (and hand in essays (film scripts) returned with “what were you on?” written across the top). A much needed thing seeing as she has yet to learn to colour between the lines.
Join Elly as she embarks on her final hurrah on MONDAY
Hunter Allen was once the man with the smallest room in Cambridge. Now that this is no longer the case he is thoroughly uninsteresting, but will nevertheless try to entertain you with a video-interpretation of his week. Not quite a vlog, not quite TabTV, and, frankly, not quite a column.
Since Hunter is about image and not text, his bio will end here, and without apology.
Watch Hunter from a safe distance in his first volumn on TUESDAY
Ever since sharing a croissant with Tom from McFly at the tender age of ten, Lauren Chaplin was destined for fame. Or so she thought. To date, the only public prominence she’s garnered has been a cameo in an Ayia Napa promotional video and this Tab column.
Described as an ‘intellectual’ (by her Mum), she once wrote an essay so bad that her supervisor’s only comment was ‘oh’. Unless it was simply an abbreviation of ‘ohmygodthisisamazing.’ But probably not.
Her celebrity crush is Johann Hari.
Come back for Lauren’s first column on WEDNESDAY