Valentine’s Guide Dog: Week 4

Fornication can be positively ghastly. And it is worst, of course, on that night when you know everyone else is getting it. So spare yourselves the pain – there is an offensively large amount of theatre displaying itself around Cambridge this week. (I always say quality, not quantity, but ah well. Can’t be helped.) You can go along in the secure knowledge that you are sitting in a darkened room filled with people who are definitely not having sex while you aren’t. I, however, will be too busy fucking.

Clare Comedy – 12th February only

LOLZ.

Clare Cellars, 8.30pm £4

A View from the Bridge – 14th-18th February

I’ve always believed incest and illegal immigration make for the most romantic theatre. As do many: apparently – for the first time in the humble Playroom’s history – a Saturday matinée has been organised due to it selling out aggressively quickly.

Corpus Playroom, 7pm/3pm £5-6

Audience – 14th-18th February

In case you hadn’t already noticed, this show is META AS FUCK.

Pembroke New Cellars, 7pm £5-6

The Boys in the Band – 14th-18th February

The sexually alternative option this week. Expect tight, tight jeans.

ADC, 7.45pm £6-10

The Talented Mr Ripley – 14th-18th February

An international thriller makes the dubious transition from screen to stage. Experience love in one of its more obsessive and disturbed forms. Not recommended if your other half is psychologically unstable.

Queens’ Fitzpatrick Hall, 7.45pm £5-6

Moments – 14th-18th February

Something novel about strangers and how it’s easier to tell them all your secrets because they don’t know you. Potential for first dates, if the combination of new writing and a play being performed in what is essential a rehearsal space doesn’t alarm you.

Larkum Studio, 8pm £4-6

Uneasy Dreams – 14th-18th February

Get your cultural kicks with a cheeky bit of Kafka. Bonus if you’re trying to score someone significantly more intelligent than you.

Corpus Playroom, 9.30pm £5-6

Footlights Smoker – 14th February only

More LOLZ.

ADC, 11pm £5-6

The Tempest – 15th-18th February

Plan B: Should your V-Day turn out shit, plunge yourself into the remote cloister that is Newnham. The ladies love a bit of Shakesy.

Newnham Old Labs, 7.30pm £4-5

Titus Andronicus – 15th-18th February

The University of Cambridge’s English Faculty proffers you culture. Let’s hope it’s not as ironically awful this time.

Judith E. Wilson Studio, 7.45pm £5

G. G. T. H. – 15th-18th February

LOLZ with “famous” people.

ADC, 11pm, £5-6

Black Tie Smoker – 17th February only

LOLZ, dressed pretty.

Pembroke Old Library, 8pm

Queens’ Charities Comedy Night – 17th February only

LOLZ for a good cause.

Bowett Room, Queens’ College, 8pm £5