ASBO’S BACK

Notorious river-menace ‘Mr ASBO’, Cambridge’s most vicious swan, is set to make his return to the Cam just in time to ruffle the feathers of this year’s fledgling boaties.

The swan, who gained fame for his violent tendencies, was being treated for severe arthritis and a deep cut – probably due to years of oar-ful encounters with rowers.

Man vs. Swan – ASBO takes on an LMBC boat

He was spotted limping in August and was taken to an RSPCA centre in Norfolk after a concerned swan enthusiast alerted the RSPCA.

It was thought the injured toe might need amputation, but Mr ASBO had a lucky escape. A course of drugs and injections set him right again, and now he’s due to come back any day.

While Mr ASBO has caused much controversy in the past, one person happy to see the bothersome bird back in the Cam is Eobin Middleton, aka Battleship Bob, who lives on the river and is Mr ASBO’s staunchest supporter.

Bob himself was recently slapped with a £7,000 fine for obstructing May Bumps with his barge to protect swans.

“It’s great news that he has recovered,” says Bob. “I’ve missed him something rotten, so it will be good to have him back where he belongs.”

Fourth-year Fitz rower Benedict O’Malley told The Tab about his experiences with the swan: “Mostly he doesn’t do much, he might have a nip at a blade as you go past but that’s usually it.”

“I have heard of him capsizing people before, but I don’t know if that’s just a rumour.”

The river’s rumour-mill is sure to be honking loud once this Cambridge classic starts making big splashes again soon.