Durham Students Warned to Stop Masturbating in Showers

Durham students have received letters asking them not to masturbate in their college showers.

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Durham students have received letters asking them not to MASTURBATE in their college showers.

Notices were pinned to walls inside several Durham colleges informing students that the Estates and Buildings manager had discovered “blockages to be caused by what we have now determined to be semen.”

The letter describes masturbation in the showers as “intolerable” and threatens DNA testing to catch the culprits if the problem continues.

Finally, students are encouraged to masturbate “in the comfort of their own rooms, rather than in the showers.”

The notice, which was discovered by Catz freshers on a trip to Durham, is signed by Peter Robinson, the Senior Manager of Durham’s Estates and Buildings Department.