UPDATE: due to popular demand, you can now vote for PRYZM, object of student hatred and full-time purveyor of shit nights out.

Everyone’s always banging on about how amazing and eclectic Bristol’s nightlife is – but we all know that’s not the whole truth.

No one can ever agree on exactly how tolerable Lounge is, or whether people go to sweat boxes like Basement 45 because they enjoy it or because it makes them look cool. For these reasons, The Tab is serving as arbitrator of a poll which will decide, once and for all, the club the students of Brizzle love to hate most.

From the unhygienic to the downright gropey, YOU DECIDE which night out shall be crowned Bristol’s Worst Night Out. Scroll down to cast your vote.

Syndicate

Syndicate is a rite of passage for freshers, many of which spend most of the Friday nights on the first semester in there. Usually uncomfortably full of UWE students, The Tab once saw 3 men in leather trenchcoats get kicked out for sneaking a crate of Jägermeister into the middle of the dancefloor.

Key features include a playlist more predictable and repetitive than a Balamory omnibus, and a smoking area that resembles a zoo enclosure.

Walkabout

Just like an embarrassing one-night-stand, most freshers decide that Walkabout was a distressing mistake never to be revisited. No one is quite sure of its exact location, and no one knows what happened when they got there. Probably for the best.

Lizard Lounge

Like a colony of E. coli on a room temperature chicken breast, Lizard Lounge is the sort of club that grows on you over time. The suspiciously cheap drinks and the vomit-encrusted carpets continue to keep the students coming week after week. The legendary dancefloor is notoriously cramped, whilst a continuous micro-climate of condensed sweat rains down from the low ceiling.

The Tab also advises not to use to the toilet after midnight unless you want to see what the rest of dancefloor had for dinner.

Ramshackle (02 Academy)

The O2 is primarily a live music venue but on Friday nights it throws its doors open to clubbers for Ramshackle. Be warned, the drinks are eye-wateringly expensive, and if by some miracle you manage to carve out an alcove for yourself to dance in, be prepared to take a battering (and, most likely, groping) whilst spit and other projectiles rain down upon you from the balcony above.

The seven foot tall partitions between the bar and the dancefloor only reinforce the feeling of being imprisoned. The Tab recommends sticking with your friends at all times because if you are unfortunate enough to get separated, you have about as much chance as locating the Holy Grail in the grotty cubicles as being reunited with them.

Basement 45

With all the aesthetic qualities of a Cold War nuclear bunker, Basement 45 is certainly one of Bristol’s grungier nightclubs. The awful ventilation system means that heatstroke is an ever present danger.

Po Na Na

Like Rolf Harris’ Internet history, Po Na Na is often suspiciously empty. A poor interior design that contains disorientating mirrors and a VIP area reminiscent of an abandoned Disney attraction makes the club frustrating to navigate, whilst the notorious Playhouse Reps have reportedly occasionally told porkies about ticket prices.  Their tagline is ‘For those that know…’ The Tab can finish with ‘….say No Na Na, thank you very much’.

PRYZM

A late nomination, the students of Bristol fell out of love with PRYZM after that fateful Halloween night, in which everyone had their night ruined by overcrowding.

Of course, like the noble club-owners they are, they have offered refunds as a ‘gesture of goodwill’…which obviously changes everything.