The top 10 Brumfess confessions from lockdown

From freeze dried poo to being a UoB fraud for three years

In the midst of lockdown 2.0 boredom has hit a new high. We’ve all been there, tired of lectures, unable to go to the pub, stuck in our rooms questioning life choices. Where do we turn as a last resort to feel something? Brumfess.

It’s a place to moan about your housemate, to express political opinions, to cry about corona and once in a while, Brumfess provides us with a juicy confession. There are some hidden gems.

Here are the top 10 confessions that Brumfess has blessed us with these past couple of months.

10. Ooo fresh

Starting off at number 10 is a light hearted confession. If that’s what you like then who’s to stop you from enjoying that tingly sensation? It’s at last place because it’s not going to ruin your reputation. Enjoy your minty fresh shower.

9. Desperate times

A gal’s gotta do what a gals gotta do. If he’s rich enough to have an ensuite then I’m sure he will get a new razor.  It places at number nine because it is a bit grim but I’m sure she did worse stuff with him later on.

8. A new recipe for chocolate mousse

Brumfess loves a poo story. It’s a classic confession that we all love to read. It drops marks because it does seem a bit far fetched. Casually having a poo in a chocolate mousse without getting caught? Not sure about that, but it is entertaining.

7. A question no one asked for

If they came to Brumfess for advice, I’m not sure any of the regulars would be able to answer that one. What a traumatic experience for the cat. Hope your ‘mate’ is free from infections, and more importantly hope your cat is okay.

6. Some questionable lockdown antics

Questionable behaviour at number six. I’m sure your girlfriend would be very proud. Lockdown is clearly affecting us in different ways. Couldn’t you have just baked a banana bread like the rest of the population?

5. More poo

Did he deserve it? Probably not but I’m sure he’s learnt his lesson. Number five is harmless payback gone wrong. He definitely got more than he bargained for. Pretty embarrassing.

4. An unwanted gift

At number four we have a girl who found a not so pleasant surprise after spending a night with a guy. Surprisingly corona was not the worst thing to come out of this situation. Eight days? Wouldn’t like to know what that smelled like.

3. Keeping it in the family

In third place is someone who likes to keep it in the same family. I guess the mum must have pretty good genes. I admire them for taking one for the team to keep Brumfess entertaining.

2. A new reason to invest in a freeze dryer

Second place goes to the freeze dried poo. Again, another poo story, but this one just seems a bit more convincing to me. I feel like it’s too weird of a confession to make up. There are definitely other ways to go around having an annoying housemate, but each to their own.

1. The infamous ‘UoB student’

First place has to go to the fraudulent student who pretended to go to UoB for three years. If only they had put the same effort into actually getting into uni. They were probably the only ‘student’ who was happy about graduation being cancelled this year. Deserves the top spot for the level of commitment and being able to hide it for this long. I wonder how they’re doing.

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• Someone has been faking their time as a UoB student and it might be the craziest Brumfess we’ve ever seen