Forget COVID, these are the unavoidable disasters that you will experience in halls
Trigger warning: contains evidence of fresher disasters
We knew it would be different returning to campus considering the coronavirus pandemic, but on top of forfeiting a normal student experience you’ve been forced to move out of home for the first time and live with a bunch of people you don’t know. Everyone is messy and loud (or too clean and too quiet, you can’t win) and you literally have no choice but to live with them. Like, legally.
This year, of all years, is going to be particularly hard for first-year students. With no clubs open, no in-person society fairs and no Copper Rooms, term one is going to be different, to say the least. But one thing stays the same – every small, ridiculous disaster you’ll encounter in halls. Ah, so grim x
1. The flatmate who forgets cleanliness is a thing
Every year, there is always one Fresher who just does not know how to cook, do laundry, and worst of all: clean the kitchen. Who knew that even COVID fuelled cleaning anxiety countrywide couldn’t fix this fresher? Stock up on anti-bac because you are going to need it. We are talking pans stacked up to the ceiling and clogged up sinks.
2. Constant fire alarms
If you are a second or third-year student, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Traditionally the fire alarm drill happens early in term one and traditionally it occurs around 7am. Warning: it’s likely to be cold and rainy. At least your face covering and disposable gloves can keep you warm.
PSA: If you get out of your halls quicker I guarantee you can go back to bed quicker.
“But my Mum has always done my laundry”. Hate to break it to you but there comes a point where your clothes will run out. That means you are going to have to get to actually use a washing machine. Luckily Washpoint has instructions on how to use the machines but that does not mean you are safe. The mould inside the rims of communal washing machines is watching, and waiting.
4. The overflowing bins
Never taken a bin out? I would learn fast. There will always be one flat that will completely leave the bins to overflow to the point that their kitchen becomes corona’s hideout and the second waste room. Think you are safe because you are the top flat? I heard corona climbs stairs.
5. The forever open fridge and freezer
And we all thought germs from plastic were contaminating our food… oh no, there is always that one Fresher who never quite learns to SHUT the fridge or freezer door properly. The next hour another Fresher walks in to find the fridge temperature at 14°C (given that the ideal fridge temperature is 2°C this is far from ideal). See the evidence below.
No one wants to self-isolate without a fridge. Keep an eye on your goodies (frozen peas).
6. A near-fatal dinner disaster
Does burning your food kill bacteria? Rumour has it a couple of years back someone really did set alight to a Bluebell kitchen cooking (of course) a steak because, you know, it’s definitely within a student-friendly budget. Turns out the entire hob area had to be redone. You are guaranteed a few kitchen disasters when moving into shared accommodation so be warned!
6. Losing all of your cutlery
Let us set the scene: So you are set to go to uni in September and it comes to buying cutlery. Your Mum chooses the basic never-cooked-in-my-life standard John Lewis cutlery. You don’t think much of it until you find out that every single one of your flatmates has the exact SAME cutlery meaning only one thing: what’s yours is theirs. Be warned: you will be lucky to leave uni with a single fork.
7. The Leaky Milk
Rest in Peace to the fresher with the bottom shelf. Leave your milk upright to avoid world war three with your flatmates when they find their raspberries swimming in semi (especially if they are vegan!).
8. The WiFi Stealer
We all know that the Warwick WiFi isn’t ideal at the best of times, however, when all of your lectures are online it really is a problem having every single person squeezing the system for Netflix and YouTube. To the Fresher using WiFi to endlessly stream TikToks – your flatmates will find out.
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