How To Spend Christmas on Your Own

While my family may try to make me feel included by photoshopping my head on our dog, being an international student is not always easy, especially not when there is a global pandemic and restricted flights. As your friends and housemates trickle out of Brighton one by one, the city seems suddenly so different. The Christmas lights in the lanes seem to mock you, and despite being in Tier 2 – there’s no one to go to the pub with anyway. Unfortunately, throughout this pandemic, loneliness and issues with mental health have been rampant. So, I thought that as someone who spent last Christmas completely alone, and possibly this Christmas too, I could help out a bit. Here are some common thoughts you might have if you’re having to spend Christmas on your own, and I am here as your fairy godmother to give you some tips.

But I am so Lonely…

One thing that is so true, but often forgotten, is that being alone and being lonely are two very different things. We’ve all been lonely in a room filled with people, and perfectly content bingeing Netflix in our room alone. Call your family and friends and let them know that you want to talk and need support so you don’t feel completely isolated. Facetime, Skype, or Zoom are always a good shout to have a chat, but if you want to chill and spend time with someone without feeling the need to talk the whole time, TeleParty can help. It’s an extension on Google Chrome that allows you to watch Netflix with any of your friends throughout the world. I use this to watch American Horror Story with my sister, who is in America, but also my friend down the street in isolation. Doing something with someone else, even passively, can help you realise, although you are alone, you don’t need to be lonely.

Christmas Seems so Pointless Though…

This is another completely understandable thought you may be having – what’s the point if I’m alone? Whether baking Christmas cookies with your Mum was always what you did or going carolling or whatever your tradition is I challenge you to do it anyway. You may be thinking why would you do that if no one else can join you but that is the whole point! You are your own best friend so do things that will make you happy as if it were you spending Christmas with any of your other friends. Make those cookies, but add more chocolate chips than your Mum does because guess what – you’re making it your tradition now. Maybe don’t knock on people’s doors and sing to them cause you know – pandemic – but turn on Mariah Carey and dance around your house. Don’t worry, no one is watching, you’re on your own – see there are positives.

What If It Gets a Bit Much…

I totally get that being on your own in a house or halls can be isolating and you may feel like Christmas is happening to everyone except you. Going outside to go for a walk or a run can really help. Going to your local park and just seeing human life can remind you that other people are out there and alive and I promise that you are not the only one spending Christmas alone – we are all going through it together and I hope that brings you some form of solidarity. Do things to make someone smile to spread a bit of cheer. Give the homeless a meal deal, knock on your elderly neighbour’s door and give her flowers. Do what you can to make other people’s Christmases a little bit more special – and the secret is it makes yours a little bit more special too.

And for Christmas Day Itself…

Keep your space clean – I know it sounds cliche but it’s true – you will be in a better mental space. You don’t need decorations to get Christmassy – it’s often expensive and a lot to clean up. Make your own snowflakes or don’t worry about it at all – don’t force anything. If you want to cook an entire Christmas meal and pack it up or give it away that’s fine, but for me personally I like to order some takeaway I love or cook something I enjoy, call the people I care about most, and watch a movie. Have a bath, a glass of wine, and relax – it’s Christmas sweetie you deserve it. (A lot of Chinese places are open Christmas – pro tip.)

What if it’s Not the Most Wonderful Time of the Year…

This is where so much of the anxiety about Christmas comes, that it has to be fun, that you have to be happy. Sometimes this is simply not possible. We’re in a pandemic, you are on your own, yes you are lucky to have what you do but it’s okay to feel. If you’re not happy on Christmas, don’t force it, you are feeling what you are feeling for a reason. It is valid no matter what time of the year it is. You aren’t a downer, you’re a human – and this Christmas is very different than what we are used to – it’s okay to mourn.

If You Need Any Help…

Don’t be afraid to reach out. Tell your friends or family if you’re struggling. You can call places such as Mind on 0300 123 3393 from 9am to midnight every day for advice. You can also call Samaritans on 116 123, who are open 24 hours to talk about any issues you may be having. Remember this is not forever, the vaccine is here and maybe you will have learned that it’s not all bad being on your own – at least sometimes.