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47 things you should never do as a Sussex uni student

‘Of course I would never vote Tory’


With endless opportunities and a newfound sense of freedom, uni teaches some indispensable life lessons, such as how much alcohol tolerance you possess or how to live with people who steal your food.

However, there are many unspoken rules of university that, as a fresher, you can only hope to discover sooner rather than later.

To help you out, here is a list of the 47 crucial things not to do at Sussex University. You're welcome.

1) Don’t sign up to every society you see at the freshers fair, unless you want endless emails

2) Don’t moan about the queue at co-op

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There's always going to be a queue, get over it

3) Don’t ever forget your key when you live at Northfield

4) Don’t antagonize vegans

5) Don’t fuck in the Sussex library

6) Don’t get a photo with Jacob Rees Mogg

7) Don’t wear a Sussex hoodie unless you want to get bullied

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'Wearing a Sussex hoodie on campus is moist'

8) Don’t pay with a tenner on the N25 bus

9) Don't proceed to argue with the bus driver if they complain about this

10) Don’t upload thousands of indie North Laine photos

11) Don’t ignore your flatmates to the point where you only see them on the way to the toilet or in the kitchen meeting twice a term

12) Don’t sleep with your flatmates either

13) Don’t read the Badger (like anyone does anyway)

14) Don’t swipe right on a coursemate on Tinder

15) Don’t go to Skint thinking you’ll have an easy night

16) Don’t tickle Adam Tickell

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The legend himself

17) Don’t make friends with a student from Brighton University

18) Don’t miss a banging night out at the seafront because you might hate the club 99 per cent of the time

19) Don’t live in Park Village

20) Don’t express any right wing views at all

21) Don’t become an annoying SJW either

22) Don’t spend bank in the lanes just because you think it’ll make you vintage

23) Don’t underestimate the burger and pint deal

24) Don’t go to PRYZM on the weekends

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25) Don’t suggest ring of fire as a pre-drink

26) Don’t bring your ‘street’ London slang to uni

27) Don’t join Sussex gym when you can’t even be bothered to walk across campus to get there

28) Don’t try and fight a seagull for chips

29) Don't ignore the busker underneath the Falmer bridge (he is lovely)

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30) Don’t start every new term convincing yourself that you’re going to be super organised and then miss the first lecture of the week

31) Don’t buy every freshers wristband going and and proceed not to use them

32) Don’t walk around your flat completely naked

33) Don’t burn your toast and set off the fire alarm at 3 am

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34) Don’t talk to club promoters when you’re out with friends

35) Don’t go to Silverstone (you’ll get lost)

36) Don't ignore Hove

37) Don't ignore Lewes either

38) Don’t constantly tell people about how stressed you are with finding a house in Brighton

39) Don’t Snapchat every minute of your day spent in the corridor of your accommodation

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40) Don’t leave the kitchen untidy and then say 'but that's not my rubbish'

41) Don’t keep everyone in your flat awake by singing/gaming/moaning

42) Don’t assume that being at uni means you’re automatically invincible and can therefore down endless bottles of wine

43) Don’t put socks over the smoke alarms

44) Don’t steal traffic cones, road signs, or pint glasses to decorate your room when you’re pissed

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Makeshift Christmas tree?

45) Don’t go home every single weekend of uni

46) Don’t brag about your marks in front of people

47) And finally, don’t pee in your uni sink, even when desperate (it’s a slippery slope)