Group work is fundamentally the worst thing about uni

Please don’t ruin my degree

'Group work' is a phrase that strikes fear in the hearts of students across the country. Whether it's a presentation or an essay, it is universally acknowledged to be the most annoying time of your life. You can never agree on a time to meet with your group, there's always one slacker who will bring everyone's grade down, and the Prezi will obviously crash at any crucial moment.

Beyond exams, revising and being hungover group work is fundamentally the worst thing about uni. This is why:

Lecturers never let you choose your groups, and you always end up with the most useless people

The least your tutor could do is let you choose who you work with. You'll sit and stare mournfully across the room at your would-be perfect work friends while you get allocated with a bunch of random coursemates.

You get marked collectively, which sucks

We're paying over £9,000 a year to have other people influence your marks. Your degree should be a reflection of your own effort, not the awful efforts of others.

No one's ever free at the same time, so one person always ends up doing everything

Taylor's not free after the seminar, Jamie's got football on Tuesday and Emily's buggering off to go skiing on Thursday. This is an organisational nightmare.

You have to pretend to be friends with the other people in your group

I know you don't really care about how my weekend was, but thanks for trying.

There's never enough space for group work in the library

The group workspaces are always packed and there's never enough spare chairs. Once you finally find enough room to work, someone realises there's no nearby sockets and they forgot to charge their laptop before coming. Rookie error, Katie.

The following key personalities will always be present

The Flake:

They seem really enthusiastic and offer to take on loads of work, but then they slowly disappear in to the unknown and never reply. They're probably with the ghost, laughing at everyone else's despair.

The argumentative one:

There's nothing wrong with having an opinion, but this person takes it too far. Disagreeing with any other point of view, they'll micro-manage everyone's work and argue against everything that goes against their 'vision'. Once they pick the font, they won't let you change it.

The slacker:

I have no idea how they got in to uni. They don't seem to understand how to work, or even turn up to the study sesh you eventually organised. They'll end up writing their share of the project at midnight and you'll be stuck up waiting to make sure it's not total crap before you hand it in tomorrow.

You end up being the one who does all the work

Oh sure guys, I'll just do the whole project.

Your tutor will constantly say "it prepares you for the workplace", even though you know this is total BS

If someone was that lazy, disorganised and clueless in an office, they'd be fired.

WhatsApp is a group chat grave yard of group project chats past and present

From WhatsApp to Facebook Messenger, your phone will be littered with group chats of years past. Is it awkward if I leave 'Advertising presentation group' after six months?

Prezi is awful and should not exist

You don't fool me with your fancy transitions, Prezi. It lags when you're making it and there's always problems setting it up in class. Google Docs is the way forward, but just remember that everyone's going to see your embarrassing email when you log in.

You realise how much you hate humanity

Group work makes you realise that the only one you can rely on is yourself. Let's face it, people are trash.

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University of Sussex