Sussex’s most eligible bachelor nominee: Miles Markham

‘I would be a sweet potato because they’re potatoes but sweeter’

Miles Markham, 20 nearly 21, Music (and an elective in comedy in term 2) 


My name is Miles and I am 20 years old. I study music and have been on two gap years (two!) and currently have 10 wavy light jackets (some heavier than the average light-jacket).

I live at East Slope at the moment with 11 other people. They are ok, but they’re not really giving me that stuff.

We share, but we don’t share.

I’m looking for someone that I can share my feelings with and tag in funny memes. Damn Daniel what are those?

I’m a bit of a BNOC, and am looking for someone of equal status – maybe a faculty member of some sort?

I’m quite edgy, I own a skateboard and have a kimono from Snoopers Paradise. I have a passion for dance and also have no sense of smell! I have quite a big nose, but I actually can’t smell, like I can fart and I can’t smell it! You can though haha.

Because my lack of smell, my eye sight is heightened and I only want pretty people.

My favourite kitchen utensil is the ladle (of love). It’s like a big spoon, I like spooning.

Some of my turn offs are slow walkers, loud chewers and racists.

Another ideal date would be lunch at the Jubilee Cafe followed by a lecture of your choice.

Enough about me, time to talk about me(mes) – I just stopped writing for like three minutes because I felt sweat drip down my side and you can see it on my grey t-shirt (pictures on request).

All the love I have to give

Think of me(mes)

 – Miles


Favourite colour of socks: Yellow, but a good yellow, it has to be like a mustard yellow

Penguins or Otters: Otters, they hold hands

Most annoying habit: Smelly feet, I don’t know if that’s a habit

Favourite physical feature of the opposite sex: I thought you were going to ask for my own one, so I was already ready to say my nose, but of the opposite sex I like bums and boobies

What vegetable would you be: I would be a sweet potato because they’re potatoes but sweeter

Ideal date: East Slope Bar, nachos for two but each, so essentially nachos for four for two

Favourite sex position: Sixty-nine

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