Why people seem to hate student Conservatives

Politics. It’s just so damn political. Political people tend to be arrogant, obnoxious, and think they know more about fiscal policy and bureaucracy than a fiscal bureaucrat. There is something very hateable about all political people. But there is something very special about student Conservatives. They are almost all universally despised.

Is it because they want poor people to be poor? Or is it because they all have weird shrines of Thatcher somewhere in their mum’s basement? This isn’t an attack on that half of the political spectrum, it’s merely a psych-eval on the traits they ooze that make them just so god damn wanky.

Depression

People always say that you go further to the right as you get older because you see people are inherently selfish, uncompassionate and slightly racist. This lack of optimism, positivity and hope are not traits I want to spend my nights at Oceana on a Wednesday with. This chronic cynicism, pessimism and scepticism is depressing; which is why student Conservatives tend to hang out with other student Conservatives, so they can mope and discuss humanity’s eventual and inevitable death…together.

Conversation

I have to admit, I actually am a politics student. And during my first year, we all drew caricatures of everyone who lived in our flat; my one said “the budget came out today”. It was then that I realised I had fully submerged into being a politics wanker. Student Conservatives, however, literally only ever seem to talk about politics. We get it…

They like the wrong people

Just because you are something, doesn’t mean you have to like everyone that is too. Not all Lib Dems like Nick Clegg. Not all Liverpool fans like Suarez. Not all Austrians like Josef Fritzl. So why defend slimy, thunderfucks like George ‘Gideon’ Osborne, Michael Gove and Andrew Lansley.

That thing

I don’t know how to describe that thing. I don’t know quite what that thing is. But there’s just a thing about them.