Can someone tell me why St Andrews students all do these 17 things?

It’s over halfway through this academic year so it’s time to question why St Andrews is the way it is. We’ve put together a list of 17 of the most St Andrews things, which even Freshers do, that no other uni does.

Base your opinion of someone new on whether they prefer Empire or Dervish

Lets also not forget Toastie Bar, Courtyard or Shawarma even though we know its a two horse race.

Own a hydro flask

Haven’t you heard? Chilly’s are out so time to throw away that mid-priced water bottle for an over-priced one instead.

Wear flares

Even to lectures?! They are not a substitute for loungewear. Put some joggers on like a normal person.

Resell tickets for massively inflated prices

Facebook has basically become Ticketmaster for St Andrews balls and fashion shows.

Adopt children

Academically, but it still reminds you that you can barely look after yourself so actual children are a long way in the future. It also makes you really reassess your moral compass regarding (academic) incest.

Buy the overpriced red gown and then never wear it

Except once a year to the Gaudie. It serves as a dressing gown for the rest of your time here

Pay an extortionate amount for accommodation

Both in halls and in private lets

Tell everyone that you’re dairy free

If you haven’t already told everyone about the new dairy alternative instant coffees in Tesco you’re not doing it right. This also might be due to the fact meat is crazy expensive and veg is, well, not?

Deliveroo food that is under a 5 min walk away

Just one of the numerous perks of living in a tiny town because it arrives so quickly.

Bump into a one night stand … everywhere

Just one of the numerous downsides of living in a tiny town because everyone knows and the shame follows you everywhere. Looking at you Tesco.

Own AirPods

All AirPods owners are contractually obliged to openly judge wire earphone wearers in the street and the library.

Spend more time on Crushes and St Fessdrews than on coursework

Its the number one way you find out what’s going on in St Andrews, basically Scotland’s answer to Gossip Girl.

Carry a tote bag

Even though we can all agree that carrying 4 library books and your laptop on one shoulder is very uncomfortable. Gotta do what you gotta do.

Flocking to the yellow jelly vintage sales en masse

It’s mainly things you yourself would have given away, but here you are for the 4th time this year trawling through some reworked polo shirts in an attempt to make yourself more St Andrews.

Camping out in Pret between lectures

Just in case you didn’t know, there are dozens of other coffee shops. I even wrote an article about them.

Going home from a night out at 2:30am

Because you’ve reached the lights at 601 and to be honest, you’ve been sick twice because you started drinking at 6:30pm anyway.

Own a MacBook

And typing really, really loudly in all your lectures just to let everyone else know you have a MacBook. All MacBook owners are contractually obliged to patronise any other laptop user.

We all knew the type before we even applied to St Andrews, but still had the audacity to think we would be one of the only people to break the mould.

I hate to break it to you all, but if you’re reading this you’re just as St Andrews as the rest of us x