Why it’s ok to be ‘Cold’

Only a few days ago, someone very close to me said I come off as ‘cold’ sometimes. In all honesty, this was just a polite way of saying I was acting like a bitch. The reason why? I sent one-word text messages for no reason other than I was performing a juggling act with tasks and chores and, well, I didn’t have anything else to say.

This offended me. For my friends and family I would go to the ends of the earth and I’d drop everything in a heartbeat if any of them were ever in need. In some cases I’ve compromised myself in order to help one of them. Yet this person had the nerve to call me cold, and I can think of only two reasons why: technology and female stereotypes.

I feel like I’ve heard the audible sigh of men and women alike as they read the words ‘female stereotypes’. Yet, if you’re that bored by them, stop allowing them to cloud your view of people as individuals. People will stop talking about them. Women are naturally more emotional than men. We’re typically more touchy feely, compassionate and empathetic; it’s just how we’re wired up. As a stereotype this doesn’t mean, however, that I don’t have bad days (that aren’t just down to PMS). Neither does it mean I’m not allowed to be organised and strong, which quite often means that I turn down my emotions. They can, quite simply (or coldly, however you want to look at it), be time consuming and hindering when you’ve got a busy schedule. I know many men who do this all the time and they’re either set up to be brilliant future businessmen or just guys who’ve got their shit together.

Technology is also a big problem. Trying to convey any sense of tone or emotion via words on a screen is a nightmare sometimes, and more often than not leads to misinterpretation. For example, I know some people will read this and think I’m actually being reasonable, others will think I’m just being sassy and some will think I’m cold. Maybe there’s a bit of all three in here. Talking to people is underrated. I’ve been there when myself or friends are reading hidden meanings into messages we’ve received: he messaged me asking what homework was set in biology today, therefore he must be totally interested, and look there’s even three ‘x’s on the end. No. He genuinely just forgot and those ‘x’s were either a mistake or he sends them to everyone. Teenage me may have gotten away with that on account of naivety and dreams of a fairytale a la Chuck and Blair, but today I’m very much over the games.

So am I cold? Only when I choose to be. And that’s totally fine by me.