Spot the Fresher!

Many first years have a pre-conceived idea of St Andrews fashion, often constructed from images of Kate and Wills, Tatler, and The Other Guys’ “St Andrews Girls,” leading them to believe that ‘Preppy Chic’ is the ultimate look. On arrival however, they will discover that fresher fashion is slightly more diverse, but not so idiosyncratic that it is impossible to stereotype…

1. The “Gap Yah” Fresher
After having travelled around the world discovering the meaning of life, they may sneer at other freshers’ materialistic Asos addictions, and feel oh-so-hippy in their eclectic ethnic prints and harem pants. The reality is, however, that once the St Andrews weather gets its bite, they’ll run back to their Jack Will’s gilet like they did to mummy and daddy at the end of their travels.

2. The Indiellectual Fresher

I’ve come to notice that the Indiellectual style, which is characterized by sleek tailoring, button-up shirts and tortoise-shell glasses, is a popular fashion-conscious look amongst freshers at St Andrews. No doubt, the look is a hangover from school. After investing in a trendy pair of specs to emphasise that even though you spend all your time working in the library to get into, in Prince Will’s words, “the world’s best university,” you aren’t so disconnected from teenage life as to forget to look sexy whilst you study.

3. The “I-woke-up-looking-naturally-orange” Fresher
So your tan is just naturally left over from your summer trip to Portugal? Right. Just wait two weeks and you’ll get tired of plastering all that bronzer on your face. On the plus side, by that point, you will no longer feel pressure to impress that hot guy down your corridor with your classy… ahem… page-three-model tan, as you will have discovered that he is about as mature as a 15 year-old.

4. The Alternative Fresher
These young’uns are often spotted rocking anything from a charity shop with discordant pattern and wearing earphones playing music surely too alternative for St Andrews. Whilst their look may be “original,” just ask them what they are listening to on their iPod, and it is probably, oh, I don’t know, “The Smiths.”

5. The Hungover Fresher
You settle down to the first lecture of Week 1 when you hear an incredibly annoying, incessant cough; you turn around to give them your worst evil eyes and this person whom you are now glaring at is the “hungover fresher.” You will notice, once glancing over their swollen eyes, pasty face, and rat’s nest hair, that they will be wearing low-slung trackies and a pyjama top; or essentially anything that looks like they have gotten dressed in the dark, because it is most likely that they have.

6. The Abercrombie Fresher
One can forgive the naïve crowd who buy their Barbour and Hunters before coming to St Andrews in an ill-conceived effort to fit in, but I’m afraid generosity concerning this issue does not extend towards that of the Abercrombie crew. The tight-fitting gear, with its popular slim-line shirts and revealing camisoles, has a disturbing appeal towards pre-pubescent kids, trying out a more “sophisticated” look. Leave the brand consciousness to tweenagers, it’s time to move on.

Even the brand itself realizes that its clothes look best on the floor…

If you suddenly feel self-conscious about your sartorial choices after reading this, please do not fret. Once Raisin Monday arrives you will all come down to a level playing field (quite literally), and be dressed so you look equally ridiculous.

Images courtesy of The Sun, The Daily Mail, and E-Online.