Valentine’s Day comfort food

It’s Valentines Day. All your prospective lovers have bailed/decided that you’re too good for them. You’re alone/with a group of fellow singletons. The tales of a certain Miss Jones begin to ring true. You long to counter the saltiness of your tears with something sweet but even Mr. Ben & Mr. Jerry don’t seem to fill that hole in your soul. Well look no further as we have come up with the ULTIMATE in Valentine’s Day comfort food.

Slutty Brownies

A dessert so slutty and dirty you won’t be thinking about what you might be missing out on in the bedroom. A combination of all your favourite things, it won’t fail to satisfy your cravings.

To make this variation on the classic brownie, first add a layer of chocolate chip cookie dough to the bottom of a baking tray, top with a layer of whole Oreos then slather on a layer of peanut butter before adding a generous helping of Nutella. Top the entire thing with your favourite brownie mix and bake according to instructions on the box.

Scottish Tablet Mug Cake

Sweet, rich, easy and with a Scottish twist, this dessert fulfills everything you’ve been looking for in a St. Andrean lover. Transform just a handful of ingredients into an indulgent cake with nothing more than a mug and a microwave. Kick back and enjoy on the sofa in front of the likes of Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts frolicking around W11.

To make add 4 tablespoons of plain flour, 4 tablespoons of sugar, 1/4 teaspoon of baking powder, 1/4 tablespoon of salt and a tablespoon of warm melted butter to a mug. Mix to combine and drop a few chunks of Scottish tablet into the concoction. Microwave on high for 1 min 30 seconds. If the batter is still gooey microwave for an additional 30 seconds.

Ultimate 3 Grilled Cheese

On Valentines Day, a simple grilled cheese just isn’t enough. Cheesier than a Mills & Boon romance novel, and spicier than 50 Shades of Grey, our Ultimate 3 Grilled Cheese is a cut above the rest. Sandwich your bread with a lick of Sriracha, or another (lesser) hot sauce, and layer with mature cheddar, gruyere, brie, smoky bacon & caramelised onions, for the ultimate in #foodporn.

Cherry, Red Wine & Chocolate Parfait

Who needs another to savour in the perfect combination of red wine and dark chocolate. For a healthy (ish) spin on the classic, and to, again, satisfy your insatiable sweet tooth, simmer pitted and coarsely chopped cherries in a few tablespoons of full-bodied red wine and a teaspoon of sugar until thickened and syrupy. Cool and serve over yoghurt and garnish with a generous grating of bittersweet dark chocolate.

White Baileys Hot Chocolate

Do better than Bibi’s this Valentines Day and make the supreme, warm, comforting and intoxicating drink to keep you toasty on Friday night. In a saucepan over low heat melt 150g of good quality white chocolate (I like Green & Blacks), to which slowly add 60ml of whole milk and mix until well combined. Add sugar and Baileys (be generous), to taste and top with whipped cream and marshmallows.

Serving suggestions for all recipes: A bottle of Tesco’s budget wine and a heaped tablespoon of self-pity.