Five things you must do this week…

Revitalise Week: Don’t worry guys, we’ve been slogging away for three months straight and are all as overworked as the Lizard’s air con – but the faculty have noticed! They’ve come up with the key to bringing us all back to sanity and have promised to REVITALISE us. Thus far, they seem to be offering Zumba, Yoga, Combat and ‘Mindfulness’ (whut) sessions throughout the week. And they are totally FREE; we love free stuff. More info is being released from Monday, so keep checking their facebook for more events and activities to stop you from stress-imploding. There is talk of tips on time management, study skills and healthy eating, which we can be hopeful translates into free food.

Blind Mirth Christmas Show: Laugh away your insanity with a trip to the Barron on Monday night, when Blind Mirth take up residence for it’s last (free! again!) show of the year. Our oldest and wisest improv troupe are proud to say that every single show is based entirely around audience suggestion with no prior script, instead employing ‘Whose Line’ style games such as World’s Worst. Could this be a perfect outlet for revision rage? I dare you to suggest awkward and unfunny things like ‘paedophile’ or ‘wife beater’.

The Kate Kennedy Panto: Isn’t there something wonderful about a group of red-trousered males thoroughly enjoying each other’s company? Isn’t it even better when they put on a pantomime with the tagline, ‘Five Discover Each Other’? Kate Kennedy Club, I don’t know what you do at your meetings. All I know is that, to be honest, I am absolutely intrigued at how wonderfully homo-erotic this panto is bound to be, as you embrace the traditional gender-bending and present characters with names like Dick and Fanny. You couldn’t make this stuff up. Thursday, £3, free (!) mince pie on arrival.

ST.ART Magazine Fantasy Launch: The second issue of the year is out this week, and ST.ART are throwing a little shindig to celebrate. Arty folk, come down to the usual rendezvous venue of the Vic on Tuesday evening, for an exhibition of the work featured in this issue, as well as ‘an array of interactive and creative ways for all viewers to get involved’ with this issue’s theme of fantasy! How captivating…

Get Revising: Revision breaks are important folks – but remember how much more rewarding they can be if you’ve actually done some revision. It’s never too early, it’s never too late and it’s not important if you’re a Fresher (kidding Freshers, PANIC OR YOU WILL FAIL AT LIFE!!).  Seriously though, good luck with exams everyone, and maybe if we all do terribly they’ll bring back Reading Week, so don’t try too hard.