Madame Debout: r.e.s.p.e.c.t
JIGGLING JANGLES My boyfriend loves to do a naked dance just after we have had sex. The problem is, he’s just no good at dancing and it makes me dread […]
JIGGLING JANGLES
My boyfriend loves to do a naked dance just after we have had sex. The problem is, he’s just no good at dancing and it makes me dread the next time. I foolishly told him I liked it and now each performance seems to get longer! How can I let him down easily?
You have two choices: next time he leaps up in a fit of post-coital joy, you can either jump up and become a part of the experience, or you can point and laugh with a sneer of disbelief. But remember, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.
STALKING ST A
Madame, my boyfriend thinks someone’s following him… I have been keeping an eye out but haven’t spotted anyone. Is it me, or could he be a bit mad?
It’s you. Leave him alone.
THIEVING GIRLFRIEND
My girlfriend steals my clothing – especially my favourite jumpers and hoodies. How do I get her to stop?
Either you make her feel cold or she takes your clothing because she’s secretly building an altar at home… Start worrying when your underwear disappears.
DOUBTFUL DOUBLING
Madame Debout, what should I do if my girlfriend asks for a double entendre?
Give her one.
Emily Smith
Student fined £1,000 after pouring vodka in flatmate’s eyes and setting fire to her room
He also chased her around their flat with a knife
Leaked email reveals St Andrews University will ban all applications from English students
Phoebe KowhaiThe ban is already in place with all prospective students from England to have their offers revoked
Student terrorised flatmate by chasing her with a knife and pouring vodka in her eyes
The ‘unhinged’ St Andrews student also set fire to his flatmate’s room
Eggs thrown at Jewish students and Star of David ripped from neck in attacks at St Andrews
One student said: ‘It’s worrying. I think a lot of Jewish students don’t really feel supported through this’
RAAC: The first instances of dangerous concrete have been identified at these UK universities
St Andrews Student Union Club will be closed for Freshers’ Week
Prospective St Andrew’s University student killed by his uncle in knife attack
Francesca Eke21-year-old William Fraser suffered 20 stab wounds
St Andrews student went to A&E with headache told he had ‘tennis ball’ sized brain tumour
Rhudi Baume-Kennedy has made a recovery after undergoing multiple surgeries
Will and Kate are hosting an exclusive viewing party of The Crown for St Andrews students
A student from each course at the university will be chosen at random
Omg, filming for the new season of The Crown is happening right now on St Andrews’ campus
75 per cent of my personality trait is being able to say I’m mature enough to watch The Crown x
Over 10,000 Scottish students denied university accommodation each year
Ollie Lewis‘There must be no repeat of the chaotic scenes that we saw in the autumn’
Put it in your diary: Here are the dates for the 18 days of strikes at University of St Andrews
There’s no point even getting out of bed this term
Confirmed: The first day of strike action at University of St Andrews is in two weeks time
Strikes will begin on February 1st
University of St Andrews staff set to strike for 18 days before Easter
Over 70,000 staff at 150 universities will be striking
St Andrews student called ‘fashion God’ after wearing a bucket hat on University Challenge
Get him to Paris Fashion Week right now
Three St Andrews students have lost £12k total in accommodation scams
Izzy SchifanoStudents have reportedly been conned into paying deposits for housing that doesn’t exist
St Andrews University staff to go on strike for three days this month
Lecturers at every UK uni will be striking
University of St Andrews ranks best in the country in new university league table
Palmer SperauSorry Oxbridge, St Andrews takes the cake this year
Raving to radio: Everything Richard Gadd did after the real life events of Baby Reindeer
He even had time to go travelling
‘She inspired me’: Everything Nava Mau has said about playing Teri in Baby Reindeer
‘When I read the script, I could tell that Richard really loved her’
Jess has accused Callum of cheating on her with fellow Love Island star before their split
Ellie RingThis breakup just gets messier and messier
What have Sara and Tim been up to since leaving the drama of MAFS Australia 2024 behind?
Tim seems to have dropped off the face of the earth
Student jailed for stabbing his housemate to death after a fight over his music taste
Syed Hussain-Kazi called his housemate a homophobic slur before stabbing him with a kitchen knife
Jack reveals MAFS Australia producers forced him to change his vows ‘six or seven times’
As it didn’t fit ‘the theme’ they wanted for their storyline
Omg, Jayden tried to sell the bracelet he got Eden on MAFS Australia for extra cash
And asked if Eden wanted to split the profit
If you can’t wait for season four of The Umbrella Academy, here’s what else the cast is in
I need my daily dose of Klaus
Kaching! The Russell Group uni subjects you need to study if you want to be a millionaire
Awkward time to be an English student x
17 years since it first aired, this is who from the Skins cast is actually still friends
Iona MacRobertI wish I was invited to their lunch reunions
A side by side comparison of Black to Black’s cast and the real people they played
Jess LawlorThey got the beehive spot on
Baby Reindeer: A psychologist has explained why Martha always used ‘Sent from my iPhone’
Despite not even owning an iPhone
A look at Richard Gadd’s intense transformation in order to appear ‘neurotic’ on Baby Reindeer
He drastically changed his appearance for the series
There was another chaotic editing error on MAFS Australia 2024 last night and it’s CARNAGE
How did the producers miss this?!
The five fashion trends all the cool girlies are wearing to festivals in 2024, according to Pinterest
Grace VielmaThe lewk bewk isn’t ready for this
Matty Healy has addressed Taylor Swift’s ‘diss track’ and is characteristically unbothered
‘I haven’t really listened’
Everything Lauren has been up to since leaving MAFS Australia 2024 like an absolute queen
She’s an icon, a legend and she is the moment
‘Honestly, I expected backlash’: Richard Gadd speaks on Baby Reindeer’s staggering success
‘I didn’t expect it to be this big so quickly’
Selling the OC cast member Alexandra Jarvis has officially quit the Oppenheim Group
Jason Oppenheim recently confirmed her departure
Omg, MAFS UK fan favourite Georges is rumoured to appear on Celebs Go Dating!
Get him back on our screens!
Lauren reveals the ‘spicy’ parts of her MAFS Australia final vows that were cut from show
Jono should be thankful these weren’t aired