Hair-raising job applications

Filling out job applications should be made more fun. While people-watching in the library, I was inspired to write a novel answer to one of the many ‘About you’ questions […]

12 years ago

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Filling out job applications should be made more fun. While people-watching in the library, I was inspired to write a novel answer to one of the many ‘About you’ questions I’ve had to ponder recently. It is inspired by the multitude of blondes I happened to see strolling through the library, but contains not a single ounce of truth.

Describe a major challenge you faced and how you responded (250 word limit):

When I was a child, I had beautiful blond curly locks. As I grew older, however, my hair became darker each year; from blonde to dirty blonde to a mousy-brown. I initially took this in my stride; I saw it as a sign of maturity and with Penelope Cruz as my role model, everything was just peachy. Unfortunately, life circumstances were to drastically change my naive self-image.

The University of St Andrews has been a major challenge in my life; one that destroyed and then rebuilt my entire self-image. It was a struggle, a journey, but in the end I found my true self. This is my story of survival:

The majority of female students at St Andrews are, to be frank, blonde bombshells. Thus, when I showed up with my mousy hair I struggled to attract male attention, or indeed make friends with these Scandinavian princesses. I felt inferior, insignificant and lamented on my cruel genetic make-up that had given me the glory of blonde hair, and then cruelly snatched it away. I realised I could never be like Penelope Cruz as her brown hair was much darker and richer, placing her in the category of “Latina hottie” — something I could never be. The Penelope Cruz poster was taken down. My self-esteem was at an all-time low.

The other brown-haired students regrouped and formed a “hipster” crowd, resisting all social norms by definition and thus ‘hairism’ was never an issue. After much searching, I had found my niche. Though content in my hipster setting, I still very much wished to climb the social ladder to join the ‘bombshells’, and to my delight the opportunity came about with relative ease. Once Prince William announced his engagement to Kate Middleton, I seized my chance. I campaigned for the equal rights of brown-haired individuals to join the upper echelons of society and was extremely successful. People began to follow the Prince’s example and soon “Brunette Bombshells” were a hot commodity at university.

This challenge demonstrates how I persevered as a social outcast and was ultimately able to conquer the ‘hairist’ situation, and reach my full potential in society. Though I have reached the highest social standing at university now, I have not forgotten what it is like to be at the bottom, and hence I plan to start campaigning for Gingers. It is my social responsibility to give something back to the ‘roots’ from whence I came. One day, I hope to achieve world peace.

Written by Gwen Wackwitz, standpoint writer

Photo: © Neha Shastry, © Kelly Diepenbrock

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