The [not so] Cool List

In 2006, Kieran Webster from The View was number six. Perfect! I used to see him in the frozen foods aisle in Tesco all the time (we share the honour of being Dundonians).

In 2007 Kate Nash was number seven. Oh yeah, remember her? Vaguely? No…?

In 2008 Alex Turner was number four. I have an even better story about seeing him. One time at an Arctic Monkeys gig, a shoe that I’d lost actually got thrown at him. And it hit. My actual shoe! My first taste of fame, and his first taste of my feet.

I used to revel in this cool-by-association status. But this year is different. This year I have decided that I don’t need a list to define my taste. 

Of this year’s top ten, there are four I couldn’t pick out of a line-up. There are three I can’t even pronounce. Quite frankly, there are several from the full list that I don’t think even deserve a place at all (Charlie-I-can’t-decide-whether-I’m-folk-or-depressed-or-a-pop-star-so-I’ll-just-get-a-trendy-new-haircut-and-new-wardrobe-and-hope-for-the-best-Fink from Noah and the Whale)

My fourteen-year-old self, the one who bought NME back when it cost less than £2 and held it up like Moses coming down from Mt. Sinai, is screaming “Stop writing now!” The fourteen-year-old is horrified at all the precious cool points accumulated over my teenage years that I’m now giving away so flippantly.

But am I really? Let’s take a quick examination of NME’s Cool Commandment No. 4:

‘Be comfortable with cool’ The cool don’t have to say they’re cool. They know they’re cool. Knowing you’re not cool is not cool.”

If one knows one is cool, then it shouldn’t matter if one’s name appears on a designated list or if it doesn’t. In fact, surely by appearing on something as obvious as a “Cool List”, any coolness which you once possessed would immediately evaporate.