A beginner’s guide to Jesters: Two-bicle, Gold Cards and Juicy Lucys

As you may have already heard, Jesters is one of the most prestigious clubs in our city. Once named the worst nightclub in the UK, it is a place we all adore. Entering this club is an overwhelming, mesmerising experience all by itself – so here's a simple guide to help you out!

'JESTERS SHOES'

You will hear this phrase repeated by Freshers' reps and older students. You need a pair of Jesters shoes that are cheap, flimsy, and of no sentimental value to you as their sole purpose (get it?) are to be totally destroyed. They will be decorated with a masterpiece of inexplicable stains and unfathomable smells…

Join the Jesters and Clowns Facebook group

They will keep you up to date with student nights and drink deals. It's generally open most days of the week but it's good to know when it's busiest. Mondays are their student night meaning that it's always packed. Fridays and Saturdays are busy as well!

What to wear

Old jeans and tops are perfectly acceptable, don’t wear anything of value as it will defo get a bright green Juicy Lucy spilt down it. Whilst this usually washes out, no one wants to be the girl crying in the toilet because their favourite skirt is ruined. Try and avoid white for the same reason.

Don’t ever feel self-conscious if you're part of a themed event – everyone loves guessing which society you’re a part of and it adds to the atmosphere! This is the one time in your life that your mates will be proud of you for leaving the house in a bin bag, so enjoy it!

WARNING: STAIRS

There are stairs as soon as you walk into Jesters. These are your nemesis. The bouncer on the door only needs you to be able to stand reasonably straight for 10 seconds while you hold out your ID and hand over your money, but falling down these stairs could result in getting kicked out. So take your time to get down them gracefully before you run to the bar.

The toilets….

The toilets are grim. There is no way round it. But the ladies "twobicle" has to be experienced – it's a cubicle with two toilets in it. Although it may sound incredibly weird, you learn to love it as it is where best friends are made. Also, you will probably be too drunk to care.

If you care about clean hands, bring your own anti-bacterial hand wash.

Respect Your Elders

You may hear the phrase "Gold Card" or "Jestival" bounced around. The Jestival consists of 8 hours in Jesters from 4pm-12am (last year it was 12 hours), and if you make it through the whole time then you get a Gold Card that gives you free entry and queue jump for the next year.

In my opinion, it is a worthwhile investment. Also, don’t get annoyed if someone jumps in front of you in the queue – they worked hard for that right!

Don't be a snob

Some people say you need to try it three times to fully understand it. Basically keep going until we convert you.

Cheap nights out FTW

Pre-drink hard, it’s a great night out and if it costs you more than £10 you didn’t drink enough at pres. Or you just love Jesticles. Either way, it’s such a great place you’re bound to have a good night!

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