Everything gross about living in a student house

If you thought halls had problems..

So you have finished first year and are now about to move into a new shared house with people you have chosen to live with and get on with. Halls has had some rather odd moments and its fair share of problems that have made the last year troublesome for you. Surely this new house can’t be any worse? After all you looked around and specifically picked the best house you could find. Wrong.

There are many things that are gross and disgusting about student housing which make halls life seem like a walk in the park by comparison. Yes there are redeeming qualities to a shared house, but if you go into a new house expecting sunshine and rainbows, consider this a warning. Much like an article we did not too long ago, everything that you will come to miss about halls, this piece is a message to all of you – house life has some nasty surprises in store.

Insects and pests

Okay so bugs and pests can be found anywhere, even in halls, so what makes them that much worse in a student house? Simply put, it’s because they are absolutely everywhere! Student houses tend to be a lot older than halls, so that means bugs have had more years to find the hiding spots in, your bedroom, the kitchen and the bathroom. Most insects will already be in the house before you get there. Unlike halls, where there are regular inspections and cleaning staff to remove them, it’s now your responsibility to deal with the problem. When I moved into my house, my parents and I had to spend a full 2 hours getting rid of cobwebs, spiders, moths, etc. That was just from my bedroom and the conservatory. Nine months after living in said house, my housemates found 3 dead mice at the back of a cupboard next to a bowl of rat poison. Now, we never bought any poison, so this must be courtesy of the previous tenants. Other horrific critters that will terrorise your house include, flies, woodlice, rats and pigeons (yes I’m including those winged demons in this list of pests, it’s my list dammit).


Halls may be messy, but a house is just as bad

Halls may be messy, but a house is just as bad

Quite frankly, the cleanliness of your house will not only be gross and disgusting, but it will cause at least one argument amongst you and your housemates (unless you are living with literal pigs). I know you think that halls are clean, so you know how to handle yourself when it comes to tidiness. Here, I must remind you about the cleaners that had to work incredibly hard to deal with the crap you left lying around. They are no longer there to dust down the sides and sweep the floors. I can guarantee that by Christmas, you will have found yourself at some point without any plates because you haven’t done the washing up for the past week. Even if you are able to keep yourself on top of everything and clean all your stuff up regularly, at least one person you are living with will not. Then there are the chores such as hoovering the hallways, cleaning the bathroom and dusting the ceiling that take forever to get done. Once again, there will be at least one person too lazy to help.

Broken facilities

Be prepared to deal with the following; broken toilets, malfunctioning ovens, non-drying dryers, out of order boilers, and gas leak scares. All of this in a 9 month period. Facilities at halls are regularly checked and serviced to make sure they are in working condition throughout the year, meaning they hardly ever breakdown. In a student house this is far from the case. Whilst landlords will fix problems for you, they only solve problems once they happen, rather than working to prevent them happening again. Think of any facility in a house, it has the potential to break down at any moment in a student home. Sink, broken. Toilet, broken. The dial on a radiator that you don’t quite know how to work properly, broken. You get the picture. It will be inconvenient, often disgusting (namely an out of order toilet) and infuriating. Look forward to that.

Creepy landlords and weird neighbours

These two go hand-in-hand because they are virtually identical issues with student housing. Starting with landlords, there will almost certainly be at least one incident every couple of months where they will do something completely out of the blue. Whether it be springing information about some kind of inspection on the house at the last moment, or turning up unannounced to do some work on the place, it will most definitely happen to you. (I’ve been woken up at least 5 times this past year by my landlord). What’s even worse than this annoyance, is that he is notorious for knocking on my bedroom door and striding in before getting a response.  What makes that even creepier, is this usually occurs during the hotter months where I would be sleeping shirtless. So there’s me, lying in bed, half-naked at 9am, barely awake and an old man bursts into my room completely unannounced. Tell me that doesn’t qualify as creepy. Sometimes it’s not just landlords that can be creepy and weird, neighbours can often be peculiar too. Most likely, you will have other students living next door to you, meaning lots of noise from pre-drinks nights and other kinds of parties. My neighbours even spent one night throwing deck chairs around in their garden for several hours, and of course one flew into ours. So be warned, creepy landlords and weird neighbours are almost guaranteed with any student house.

Rent and bills

Thank you Mr. Boiler, I really appreciate having no money

Thank you Mr. Boiler, I really appreciate having no money

Okay so maybe bills don’t exactly count as being gross or disgusting, but the thought of having to pay them is horrifying enough. At halls you only have to pay your rent. Gas, electricity, internet and water were all covered in that cost. An unlimited usage throughout the year without any consequences. In a student house that all changes and god help you if you accidentally leave your bedroom light on. Having to pay monthly or quarterly (depending on your provider) is just the worst and this is definitely a snag of student housing.

Whilst halls isn’t perfect, don’t assume that a student house will be. There are many gross things about moving into a new house that make halls life seem like wonderland by comparison. That’s also not to say that student houses are absolute hell, because they’re not. You live with who you want and one thing is for sure, it is a lot quieter than halls. Student houses may not be perfect and will come with guaranteed troubles, but try to enjoy it!