All the things you definitely should have done as a Southampton student
You haven’t had the full experience without reaching these milestones
Have the Jesters experience;
You know we’ve all done this one. As a fresher you hear the daunting stories of this infamous place and you brush them off thinking it’s not going to be that bad. Think again. You will get bladdered on the array of cheap cocktails, face plant the floor while trying to dance and witness something sexual. But because of the state you were in the night before you will think it was the best night of your life and do the exact same the following week. Uni is great.
Have at least 3 Cafe Parfait promoters as friends on Facebook.
You will hear a lot about and from these beauties. They will relentlessly fill your timeline with posts but what will annoy you more is people moaning about them. They are like a disease; they spread and you can’t get rid of them. But the thing you have to do as a Uni of student is if you , on the off chance, fancy a night out in Parfait you will make them your best friends in order to get good deals.
Hear all the news you should know about your Uni through YikYak
Things from crime on the streets to lecturers discrepancies, if you want to know anything you go to YikYak. A place where because of the anonymity anything goes and as a Uni of student you have to go to here as a point of reference at least once.
Waking up an hour before a 9am and taking an educated guess that you won’t make it in time and go back to sleep
This happens to any good student; you’ve been out the night before but set your alarm because in your drunken state you convince yourself you will definitely make it but the time comes and it just doesn’t happen. If you haven’t skived a 9am are you really a Uni student?
Freeze on a night out
This depends on what kind of drunk you are. No matter what, you are freezing at some point of the night but there are certain factors depending on if it’s on the way out or on the way home. If you get drunk before you go out the story usually goes like this; you get dressed up, get drunk at pres so you don’t feel the cold when you’re queuing for whichever club you’re going into, you don’t drink too much in the club and then all the way home, you’re walking because you can’t afford a taxi, you are bloody freezing. However, if you are a gradual drunk then you are freezing when you arrive at the club, you have to not bring a coat because you can’t afford cloak room charges, then you drink an insane amount inside and then walking home feels like you’re in the Sahara.
10 item breakfast
The 10 item breakfast is like a rite of passage. Anyone who goes to the Cafe and orders a 5 item is not worthy, if you are going to do it then do it properly. It is also the hangover cure that beats any other.
Seeing the cleaner in the kitchen and backing away slowly
This is one of my favourites and I do it every morning; avoiding the awkward encounter with the cleaner. You know what they have just witnessed, number 14, and so don’t want to be face to face with the person who had to clean it up. Avoid at all costs.
This is definitely something you need to check off of your Southampton bucket list.
All your friends at other Universities will be jealous of this. Everything on the menu is to die for if you have a sweet tooth and it’s a place you have to go and try out! I recommend the Nutella and cookie waffles.
Moan about Solent
Everyone at Uni of has moaned about Solent at least once and if they say they haven’t they are lying to you. There is a rivalry between the two universities and we always come out on top. It is also the topic of some hilarious Yaks on YikYak.
Quads at Sobar
These drinks are lethal. £2 for a quadruple shot that tastes like a melted slush puppy. If you stand outside Sobar on a Tuesday you will be able to see the effects of these drinks and you need to have some.
Reach new levels of drunkenness
This is something you swear you won’t happen to you but it definitely will.. One of my flat mates drank that much vodka that he was punching walls and you could convince him to do pretty much anything by offering him rice. But at least you have stories to tell people.
Queue 45 minutes just Ocies Wednesday’s
Every week; student therapy, the busiest Oceana night of the week. Get there at around 11 then you will get in easily, wait 20 minutes and you are in for a world of pain. No cover from the rain and it’s so windy. The funny thing is about the hundreds of people who wait outside, an Oceana night out is hit and miss so the queues are a risky move but you do it every week regardless.
Destroy your kitchen
The kitchen is the one point of tension for your flat throughout first year. You have the people who are messy and the people who clean up after them. Sometimes the state of the kitchen after a night out is too disgusting that you don’t dare venture into it. But if you haven’t walked into your first year kitchen, took one look and said ‘not today’ and just gone back to bed, are you really a Uni of student?
The point of procrastination for students everywhere. OITNB, Narcos, Suits, you name it a student has used it as an excuse not to do work. This is definitely something a Uni of students needs to do; it’s inevitable.
Uni is a time where as a young adult you do a lot of first. By this I don’t mean what you are thinking. All the firsts that you didn’t think that you would ever do. For example an introvert doing the walk of shame. A Uni of student will do at least one thing they didn’t want to do initially but will never regret the decision either.
Cook a flat meal
Flat meals are such a good thing to bond over. In my flat we did come dine with me. Depending on how close your flat/house are will depend on whether you as a Uni of student do this but I recommend it; some of my favourite Uni nights have come out of flat meals.
Complete a full week of nights out and still make it to lectures.
There is a club for every night of the week and then you can brave Switch on the weekends. This is definitely something you need to try. I have completed it and not only does it allow you to eliminate clubs you don’t like but you can say you’ve been to every club in Southampton. A warning is that it will ruin you if you have the dedication to go to all of your lectures as well. You have to go out and go to all lectures to complete this challenge.
Complete and hand in an assignment in a day.
If you are one for procrastination this will be something that you will do.
Getting on the wrong bus.
I did this not too long ago. Countless first years have told me that they’ve done this too. I took the wrong bus from Highfield and ended up at the airport; long journey to get into Portswood! This is like a right of passage to be a Uni of student.