'Ex-Egypt Dictator' stands for SUSU VP Welfare and Communities in Underground Campaign
But who is he really?
As the elections draw to a head with the votes closing later in the week a strange poster campaign has been seen around the University. A student purporting to be Hosni Mubarak, the deposed head of Egypt, has been campaigning to be elected the VP for Welfare and Communities.
With sound bites such as “29 Years Experience as Egypt President” it seems like a student or group of students are following in the vein of president candidate Derek ‘Monorail’ Mallinson in reminding students that these elections aren’t the general election and making a joke at some of the more serious candidates expense.
Mubarak has also created a Twitter account where the candidate continues to make amusing statements regarding the election such as
Gaddafi has taken it too far, he should walk away and come party with me in Southampton. There’s always the 2012 SUSU elections
Here in the Tab we have found Mubarak’s campaign and twitter feed highly amusing and superb at keeping everyone’s feet on the ground during the election period, something that is often needed when you get accosted for the fiftieth time as you walk across concourse in election period! However we would love any info that anyone has on who the person behind this is!
We have reached out to the candidate for comment and are hoping to hear back from them soon.
Following our request for an interview Mubarak obliged, discussing policies, the elections and Southampton in general.
Why have you decided to stand for this position?
After losing my job as President of Egypt after 29 years loyal service I’m looking to get my career back on track and maybe apply to some graduate schemes next year, running in the SUSU elections seemed like a perfect way to strengthen my CV. Considering the political climate in the middle east I was advised that SUSU had acted as safe haven for deposed leaders in the past, notably the war criminal Alex Tanfield
What are your qualifications for the position?
The liver of an 82 year-old, a chequered human rights record and an unquenchable thirst for power.
What policies would you look to implement?
Primarily the declaration of Emergency Law, giving the President the power to suspend the constitutional rights of troublesome students and censor the output of the Wessex Scene. Some call these measures extreme but it is the only way to keep the Muslim Brotherhood from taking control of the Union. The Soton Tab would be exempt from censorship because my research revealed only 9 people take it seriously, and they’re all writer Matt Quinn.
Also free condoms in the SUSU shop, I’m already in my overdraft.
What is your opinion on Sabb Elections?
I am used to running unopposed but I’m actually relishing the competition from strong candidates Emily Eldridge, Ryo Tabusa and the other one as it gave me a chance to steal their policies and run a campaign based purely on my popularity and visibility.
Who is your favourite for position of President?
Before the accusations of links to Hamas I’d have said Jess Staff was the strongest candidate, but now I’m favouring Charlie Toribble as he’s the only one capable of growing a proper dictator’s moustache. Plus he has agreed to name me his successor in the extremely unlikely event of his assassination early next year.
How seriously are you taking the election?
Very seriously, I’ve been in Sobar and Jesters every night this week and haven’t been to a lecture since the start of term. If I don’t win on elections night I’ll probably burst into tears and make an awkward speech about how great all my friends are for painting their faces and hanging out on the Concourse for a week, they’ve really gone above and beyond.
Do you think that taking this persona could insult or upset members of the University who are from the region?
So far reaction to my campaign has been entirely positive, if anyone has been offended I urge them to come to Jesters on elections night and I’ll buy them shots; I’ve got a new favourite called the Filthy Sheikh
Were there other personas you had contemplated taking?
Colonel Gaddafi considered running for a position but like Benjamin Brooks he’s really got his hands full at the moment, maybe in 2012. Also former President of Tunisia Ben Ali mentioned going for VP Comms but decided to get a job in Jesters until he has enough saved to go travelling.
All in all a comprehensive look into the midset of the new challenger for VP Welfare and Communities, who is currently around the concourse and Stags area partaking in the local delicacy of Beer and Hot Dog in order to better aquaint himself with the true needs of Southampton Students!