How to get a girl to fall in love with you in Sheffield

Are you searching (011)4 the one? Wanting to ‘steel’ someone’s girl? Tired of crying into your Aslan’s kebab after another lonely night?

With the standard high, and the dating scene undoubtedly competitive, looking for love in Sheffield isn’t always easy. As always, though, The Tab is here to help. Behold our tips for romantic success in our wonderful city.

Stock up on your ‘wavey garms’

All the vintage threads you’ll need

As the home of Tank, Hopeworks and Tuesday Club, Sheffield prides itself around big beats and bass filthier than the language at the Varsity final. In your search for the one, you can do worse than head to COW, Mooch or indeed any Sheffield vintage shop to find the perfect attire for all of the city’s most in demand events. It seems local logic dictates that the wavier your garments, the higher your chances.

Of course, there’s your academic peers

Course coupling can be a mixed bag. We all know a power couple or two in our department, yet equally there are times it just doesn’t work out. Impress girls on your course by dressing sharply for your 10am lectures, developing distinct views on the all-so-important arguments at hand, and obviously complete all required reading. If you feel up to it, do something really brave, like talk in a seminar.

Join a society for ‘like-minded’ individuals

Many a university romance has blossomed after its members met through a society or group. Interest based societies, sports teams, and even local branches of political parties give you the chance to meet like-minded women with common interests and pursuits. You may even find love with one of these, providing that you don’t disgrace yourself too badly on a bar crawl. And everyone knows that ROAR is a hotbed of romance for more sporty students.

Go to one of Sheffield’s many events

Circle Festival, the absolute height of romance

Wavey garms not working, course mates not impressed and societies providing no luck? Incredibly, there are girls in Sheffield that exist outside your course and society bubbles. The city has a wide, wonderful variety of events – from Peddler night market, gigs at Leadmill and even an upcoming avocado festival. There’s at least a small chance of finding your soulmate at one of these, depending your efforts to be hipster, efforts to be indie or your love of avocados. It’ll be one to regale the grandchildren with: “We met at Circle Fest 2017. She had me at ‘I love Jamie Duggan as well’.”

Up your Tinder game

Be sure to ask all the important questions

Tinder in Sheffield is very competitive, with weird and wonderful bios fighting for attention. Amid questionable choices of anthems and girls who won’t go for anyone under a certain height, the app will occasionally fulfil its purpose, and you may ‘match’ with an eligible user or two. Make sure to only include photos of you in a group at Roar or Corp. Start conversations with something really original like “hey”, “how are you?” or even a native “alreyt?” to ensure the deep and meaningful relationship you crave can well and truly flourish.

Sacrifice your dignity and head to Corp

Let it be stressed that this should be a last resort. However, if the other options haven’t worked out for you, there will almost certainly be enough singletons at Corp to provide a short-term fix. There’s nothing quite as romantically liberating as one of the venue’s iconic coloured drinks (or seven), or the choices that follow. It must be stressed that you’ll feel even lonelier, ashamed and more single the next day.