I let my boyfriend dress me for my birthday weekend

Looking good for a night out, or even lectures is a struggle for me. I know that unless I’ve picked something out the night before, I’ll go out wearing heavily mismatched clothes because I did, quite literally in November, get dressed in the dark.

My boyfriend can never understand why it takes me at least an hour to get ready, claiming it only takes him five minutes. I decided to put him to the test, and show him the levels of preparation and stress required to get dressed.

Day one: Family lunch

I was pleasantly surprised by his choice, though I think he’d cheated and looked at pictures of me because I wear this outfit all the time. He said: “All I know is that if it’s a special occassion, you should wear a dress, so that’s what I did.”

There was a minor incident where a folded long sleeved top was momentarily confused for leggings and my leg was jammed down one of the sleeves. The only downsides were the lack of make-up (he was going for a “natural look” apparently) and that the tights had a huge ladder up the back of one leg, which went unnoticed when he handed them to me without initial inspection.

Night one: The SU

This was the biggest challenge yet. Under time constraint, with the prospect of missing out on precious pre-drinking time, it was a tense hour. I took over the hair and make-up after being told “we don’t have time for things like that” and because I was unable to cope with the prospect of going to the SU bare-faced.

Although I love those sandals to pieces, they wouldn’t be the first choice for SU attire. As for the socks and skirt, I think he was trying to recreate a sexy schoolgirl fantasy.

He said he “created a masterpiece”. Contrary to what I’d assumed his opinion would be, I was told my crop tops were “inappropriate” and he couldn’t believe I actually went out in them.

He said: “I don’t like girls looking ‘too much’. It just looks unnatural and not like yourself.” Darling, the backs of my thighs looked unnatural without my much-needed tights.

Day two: Day trip

Again I was put in my signature denim jacket, and instructed jeans and a jumper were very practical. However, when it rained that afternoon I got incredibly wet without an umbrella or hood.

I realised he’d given up on individual style and just dressed me like him, taking the safe road after the previous night’s disaster. We took twinning to the next level. I mentioned the lack in accessorising, and was told: “those things don’t matter,”

(“Tell that to Anna Wintour,” I said, “Who?” he asked).

All in all, I’ve learned my boyfriend isn’t as bad at picking out clothes as I’d previously thought, although the next time we decide to hit the SU I’ll be the one deciding what looks hot or not.