Confessions: What’s your most embarrassing SU story?

‘I was thrown out after one minute and had to get the Sshh Bus back to Founders’


Ahh, the SU. A bi-weekly scene of debauchery and bad dancing: who doesn’t love it? We asked people to share their best, most mortifying tales from when they’ve entered the belly of the beast.

Jess, 2nd year, Biology

“I have literally crawled into the SU. I dropped my student card and cash at the entry, bent down to get them but couldn’t stand up again. So I just passed the money up to security, got my wristband and went in on my hands and knees.”

Amie, 2nd year, History

“My two friends and I were each getting off with guys at the same time. It was so awkward though because we were stood in a triangle so we could all unwillingly see each other over the guys’ shoulders. It was really hard to not laugh.”

Derv, 2nd year, English and Film Studies

“The shortest amount of time I’ve been in the SU is one minute. I walked in, went upstairs and was asked to leave. After trying to convince the bouncers I was “net dronk”, they called the Sshh Bus to take me home…to Founders.”

Clara, 2nd year, Biomedical Science

“My friend and I were thrown out of the SU within 30 seconds for going into the men’s toilets because we were “intoxicated”. So we came up with a cunning plan: we tied our hair up, switched jackets and somehow got in again. Shortly afterwards we were asked to leave for the second time.”

Charlotte, 2nd year, Geography

“I pulled this guy, but he was a really slobbery kisser. Afterwards, my friend and I stayed out for a while before staggering home. When I got in, my housemate took one look at me and burst out laughing: my pull had smudged my lipstick all over my face, and nobody had dared tell me I’d spent hours looking like the Joker.”