Every type of guy you’ll see on Tinder during lockdown in Notts
What else is there to do in lockdown?
Since lockdown, in any form, first started in March, the amount of people using online dating apps has sky rocketed. With new restrictions in place, making household mixing prohibited in Nottingham, it’s likely these figures will only increase further. After all, what else is there to do?
So, in order to prepare yourselves for who and what you might encounter, we have put together a definitive list of every type of guy you’ll see on Tinder during lockdown in Notts:
The one who’s still milking summer ’19
With this year’s holidays and festivals cancelled, where else is he to get those topless beach photos from? Definitely not the River Trent that’s for sure, and it’s better than a mirror selfie, so let’s accept it and move on. Just don’t be surprised when you add him on Snapchat and see a mullet when you were expecting short back and sides.
The one with the cute dog
The only friend he saw all summer in lockdown was his dog, so it’s only right he includes at least one photo of them together. His dog isn’t in Notts with him though; it’s back home, so he’s lured you under false pretences. It’s a bit objectifying really: he’s using his dog to get you to swipe right, and you fall for it every time. It’s just really cute and fluffy and adorable isn’t it? And a guy with an animal – oh he’s relationship material!
The one sat on the bonnet of his car
Wait a minute… I think you might’ve found a Beeston local. At least you now know he doesn’t own a black Corsa. He didn’t get to use that car all lockdown, so if he doesn’t take a photo with it to impress the girls on Tinder, was it really worth the money?
The one with his prom/leavers photos
Without a doubt, he’s a fresher. Swipe right and congratulations – you’re a fresher shark. He’s just not quite ready to let go of those school days yet, but at least he looks pretty good in that suit, right?
The one who’s in 1st XV Rugby
There’s a photo of him with brown stains down his legs, which you can only assume are mud, and a slightly insane expression (complete with a dribble of salvia) on his face, as he attempts to prevent his mouthguard from falling out. Despite this arguably unattractive photo of him, in his green and gold UoN attire, you’re going to swipe right purely because he plays rugby. At least if it doesn’t work out with this one – there’s the rest of the team!
The one who’s a regular at Crisis sit-down sessions
He probably used to be located on the Crisis balcony and now he’s there at least once every week ordering an orange VK to his table. He absolutely had to have this photo taken to prove he was there and he needs the girls of Tinder to know he’s a Crisis boy – you’d never have seen him in Ocean.
The one showing off his biceps in the mirror
Lockdown went one of two ways: you hit the home workouts HARD or you didn’t at all. He hit them hard and he wants you to know. He’s definitely looking for a one night stand and probably has limited conversational skills. If you swipe right, you’ll exchange a few words, bump into him at David Ross and it’ll be unnecessarily awkward. It’s definitely a left swipe for this one.
The one hugging his sister
The only people he saw over lockdown were his family, so it’s likely these are his only recent photos. Is it his sister or his housemate or an ex though? It’s hard to know.
In conclusion, it’s probably best to avoid all of the above, apart from: the one with a dog and the one who’s harmlessly still milking summer ’19, as we all have sympathy for that.