When you dump someone don’t be a dick about it

Nobody likes to get dumped.

But when you want to get rid of your other half, don’t be a knob about it.

Avoid Clichés

“It’s not you, it’s me” or “I need to be by myself” – I call bullshit. Both of these need to be retired for good.

You know it’s them and so do they. It’s also painfully obvious that you’ll be alone for 5 minutes until the next conquest comes along – unless there is already one lined up.

A Third Party/Social Media

It is not acceptable to ask your sister/friend/mum to dump your bf/gf. It’s just plain cowardice. Grow a pair.

And just because it’s 2014 does not mean you should utilise the apps on your phone to end your relationship. Ending a relationship publicly on Facebook is not okay. A text is not okay. Even a phone call is not on.

Navigate special occasions with care

These are a dilemma. You’re a hypocrite if you stay with somebody on a special occasion only to dump them afterwards because it makes you feel like a slightly better person. You feel that you’ve given your other half a nice memory. You haven’t.

Get it over with and end it – and be nice about it too.

It won’t be a pleasant memory for either of you, but it’s better to be honest. To my ex that I did this too – I am VERY sorry.

Do it in private

Yeah you don’t want them to kick off so you dump them in public. Do not do this. Have the awkward conversation in private.

I had a very upsetting experience in a Starbucks once and it’s hard to go back to a place you’ve sobbed in.

Humiliation

Yeah people get dumped all the time – boo hoo right? You wanna go, so you go. Do not add to the person’s injury by jilting them in a mentally scarring way.

For example: Do not dump somebody in front of all of their friends (guilty). Do not dump somebody and make a pass at one of their friends (guilty).

Remember: Dump as you should wish to be dumped.