Can everyone stop pitying me because I’m single

After telling a middle-aged man I was single at a party recently, he looked at me with sympathetic eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry” he said, as if I’d just told him someone had died, “I just thought all girls your age had boyfriends nowadays?”

I’ve been pretty much single for my whole life, and this happens all the time. Friends are always trying to “set me up with someone nice”, they worry I haven’t met “someone special” and touch my shoulder and tell me patronisingly “don’t worry Kate, you’ll find someone.”

Now, this isn’t me trying to be like “I’m a strong independent woman who don’t need no man”, nor is it a dating profile publicity stunt. I just hate it when people pity me for being single as if I’m some poor, helpless spinster, when I’m actually single out of choice.

I always get cute couple pics with my friends

Single girls complain that all their friends are in relationships, but surely the point of being in a relationship is being with someone that you actually want to be with?

I’m only in my twenties, I’m in no hurry to settle for someone. I’m not a hater of love by any means, it just hasn’t happened for me yet is all.

Most my friends are in relationships and I admit, I do occasionally get jealous. But will I go out with your friend just to have a date on Saturday night? No thank you. I’d rather have a chilled evening in, than a bad or “alright I guess” date with someone I’m not that bothered about. If someone perfect for me comes my way then by all means I’d go for it, but I’m in no rush to go out of my way searching for someone.

One thing I’ve learnt over the past couple of years is – don’t settle for anything less than something you really want.

I can do whatever I like

I’ve been single throughout my whole uni experience, and have had a really great time because of it.  I’ve (somehow) made it through to my fourth year doing a Business Marketing and Management degree, I work as a part time children’s entertainer and am hoping to start up my own business one day, I run my own Facebook Page for Food Challenges, I write articles for The Tab and I work part-time at a social media company. This is as well as hanging out with my friends, seeing my family, going on nights out, going to the gym, playing with my dogs and yes, going on dates.

I spend most of my time as a children’s entertainer

Don’t get me wrong – I get down occasionally about being lonely, but I think everyone does at points.  But if I feel down, I’m just as happy going to my friends or family for a shoulder to cry on.

So single, self-pitying girls – don’t waste time on being upset and invest some time into yourself. Forget about searching and get working on something you’re really passionate about. Start up a blog, run a fundraising event, make a website for cats – literally whatever you want. It’s amazing how attractive of a quality that being passionate and driven about something is.

Food challenges is something I love doing

Just go out, drink trebles, get food, watch films and laugh with your friends. Go on dates, just don’t take them too seriously.

Something great will probably happen someday, and it’s the surprise the will be fun part. But if it doesn’t, I know I’ll be ok. Netflix and chill for one, please.