Don’t hate me because I hate Bake Off

The not-so-Great British Bake Off


The Great British Bake off has become one of the most beloved shows on English television. Watching this quintessentially British programme on a Wednesday with a cup of tea and your own showstopper pack of Kipling cakes has become somewhat of a staple of the English week.

However, some of us just don’t get it and feel almost ashamed to admit that we do not like Great British Bake off. There I’ve said it. I’m prepared to be hated. But I think that I have genuine reasons for saying Bake off is not as great as everyone thinks it is.

So sickly sweet

So sickly sweet

It’s Boring AF

I’m sorry but think about what actually happens every week on Bake Off. Literally the same thing. Three average bakes, some boring judging and crap jokes. The most exciting thing to happen may be someone has a soggy bottom, and I don’t mean literally (although that might make it a little bit more exciting).

Because this is one of the most exciting things to happen

Because this is one of the most exciting things to happen

It’s the Beyoncé of TV Shows

…and no that isn’t a good thing. Much like Beyoncé, we cannot say we don’t like the Bake off. If you do then you are questioned if you are even a human. But I should be able to voice my opinions freely without fearing the wrath of judgement much like that of Paul and Mary on a technical bake.

The face you get when you say you don't like GBBO

The face you get when you say you don’t like GBBO

Mel and Sue aren’t that funny

Everyone seems to be in a complete state of shock that Mel and Sue are leaving when the Bake off moves to Channel Four. But I am just bemused by this, they just aren’t funny at all. Most of their gags consist of just saying things in different tones, or crap one liners before each stage.  Such as “you’ve got something multi-tasking to do”, replied with the hilarious “we will be asking you all to juggle during the entire bake”.

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No-one is actually that great this year

For all the ranting I am doing I have watched my fair share of bake off. Something occurred to me whilst I was being forced to watch this years (A.K.A. I’m too lazy to move when it gets put on): all the contestants are a bit naff. Literally some couldn’t even make pancakes.

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The Finale

And after watching 11 weeks’ worth of this boring cake fest, you’d expect the finale to be of momentous proportions. The winner to be hailed the king or queen of the cakes, Or even just some bloody money, but no, no prize is received. So after hours of boredom, shit jokes and soggy bottoms, the end is just as underwhelming as the show. The winner gets naff all.