What your favourite section of the UoM Main Library says about you

Blue 3 or Ali G- you choose

2 weeks ago | UPDATED 1 week ago

Everyone knows that your choice of study space, and your subsequent study space conduct, says a lot about you as a person – whether you’re part of the Engineering Building massive who seem to always have that laptop open but no words written, or the Ali G 4am crew. However, as deadline and diss season looms in on us and doesn’t seem to give, UoM main library is the only place to be if you want some words on paper. Therefore, we have made it our duty to tell you what your favourite section of the UoM Main Library says about you – whether you’re a romanticiser, or only there to talk about last night and show off your new Vinted garms.

Purple

If you sit in the purple area of the main library, you are trying so hard to romanticise your uni experience. You probably study humanities and are hoping to trick yourself into thinking that working on those quickly approaching deadlines is fun when you are surrounded by dust covered books. You’re aiming to resemble that dark academia aesthetic you’ve seen on Instagram when really, you’re just an Oxford reject and are craving to be wearing a gown and drinking red wine at dinner service. You walk down the runway (the gap in between the desks), whipping your skinny scarf over one shoulder, hoping that someone will notice your mysterious aura and fall deeply in love with you.

Blue

Everyone knows that blue Floor 2 is the most sociable area. You sit and gossip with your friends, spending more time planning your Friday night out than the essay that’s due next week. You know you’ll bump into everyone you know, from housemates and lecture crushes to the guy you kissed in 256 last night. When debriefing, I suggest that you and the girls try and leave out the surnames as you never know who will be around the corner.

Red

If you sit in the red area, you have no perception of a calm working environment. You’re sitting in a freezing cold room under the harsh, clinical, main light. If you choose to sit here, you clearly have a deadline approaching and have been sipping a can of Monster since 9am.

Orange

You arrive at the individual tables in the orange section, hoping to avoid distractions. However, your plan fails miserably as you spend half the time gazing out of the window or turning your head to look at everyone who dramatically struts through the door. If you sit in this section, you’ve arrived at the library with hope to be productive, but realise that even seclusion is not enough to help you concentrate on that one piece of coursework. One advantage, however, is that you can relax as you munch on your packet of crisps without facing too many judging stares.

Green group study sections

If you’re organised enough, you’ve ventured into the green group study spaces as you have booked a room. However, if you aren’t, you’re having a last-minute practice for your group presentation and are anticipating that horribly awkward interaction when a face appears behind the glass. You get kicked out of every room and are gradually having to move down the hallway until you finally give up and are forced to go home.

Ground floor blue

If you count this as a “study area”, just turn around and go home. Your productivity started and ended as soon as you scanned your library card to get in.