Presenting a head to head of some factors that probably won’t affect your life in any meaningful way…


Home Sweet Home


Varsity. Always-Beens versus Will-Nevers. The Godless Scum of Gower Street pitted against Strand Poly. The rivalry with our southern ‘cousins’ stretches back to our foundations in the 1820’s and 1830’s, but is still as fresh as it ever was. With all the posturing that comes with university league tables every year, we could provide you with a well thought out comparison of overall position, quality of research and graduate starting salaries. Or we could look at things that aren’t boring and see which student body tends to have the best time.

Who drinks the most?

Pretty simple, the average units of alcohol per week consumed per student. Coming in at an outstanding eighth in the country, UCL consumes on average 23.1 units a week. At a more sober 66th, KCL drinks 14.8 a week. Whether this means UCL students genuinely have a better time or whether we are simply better at lying about our alcoholic exploits remains to be seen.



Really hope this is a one off study…


Who has the most sex?

A lot of the time, this is a student’s chief interest instead of academia. At 27th, your typical UCL student has had 4.44 partners since beginning uni. Kings are in 86th place with an average of 2.85 intimate partners, almost 1 and 2/3 of a person less.


sports night


Which is more down to earth/posh?

Depending on your personal preference, you may prefer to associate with members of the aristocracy or the hard grafting people who actually work for a living. With 34.7% of students having been to independent school, UCL is the 11th most privileged university in the country. Kings, with 28.7% of students at fee-paying schools, is back in 17th place.





Who is better at sports?

A matter of serious passion and pride, the rivalry between our two institutions has perhaps been upheld most fiercely on the sports field. Examining the total BUCS points from last year, UCL were 38th in the country with 759.5 points, while Kings managed to finish outside the top 50 in 53rd with 525.





Who has the best Alumni?

 Founder: Jeremy Bentham/Duke of Wellington


While the Duke is a true British war hero, good old Jeremy has his body embalmed in a case on campus. Must have loved the place.

Music: Coldplay+Suede/Kele Okereke



As much as we complain about using Coldplay as a measuring stick for coolness, both them and Suede do enough to overcome Kele from Bloc Party.

Political and Spiritual: Mahatma Gandhi/Archbishop Desmond Tutu


It’s Gandhi. Need we say any more?

Engineering: Alexander Graham Bell/Walter Bentley


Bell invented the telephone, the metal detector and hydrofoils amongst other things. Walter Bentley created a relatively slow expensive sports car brand bough primarily these days by footballers.

Literature: G.K.Chesterton/John Keats+Thomas Hardy


To give KCL credit, John Keats and Thomas Hardy will probably be aware to your average student. Chesterton…maybe your average English student.