UCL Hoodies; The Ultimate Fashion Taboo?
A brief guide on appropriate times and places to wear these pricey pullovers.
If you, like myself, committed the ultimate Freshers' faux pas by purchasing one of these pricey pullovers, never fear! The Buzz is here with a brief guide on appropriate times and places to wear your UCL hoodie.
Amongst true friends
Chances are these people convinced you to buy it in the first place. Show them the error of their ways while testing their loyalty.
I can guarantee you won’t be hit on by lecherous desperados when donning one of these atrocities. Even in the dark.
Sleeping at home; alone
Can’t stress that caveat enough, people. A more effective mood-killer is unlikely to exist.
Visiting Strand Poly AKA Kings
Wouldn’t want to be mistaken for the resident scum. Wear with pride.
‘When I Grow up”, “Frat Party”, “Bad Taste”, “Seven Deadly Sins”, “Things Starting with U”… Concerns about ruining costumes with various fluid spillages become a thing of the past.
DON’T GO THERE, SISTER:
“My older brother went to UCL and all he got me was this lousy hoodie”. Enough said.
Guaranteed heckling on everyone’s favourite red light route master.
Miscellaneous Camden fast food outlets
From personal experience: Warring hobo factions, post-lash ASBOs and unsupervised youths with laser pointers are not intimidated by your intellectual credentials. Keep a low profile.
Most other places in the mortal realm
If in doubt, just ask yourself; what would Bentham do?
Get your UCL hoodie now for just £24.95 at all good on-campus retailers!
[prices accurate at time of publication]
Pictures by Jacob Buell Seeley
*Strictly for comedic and illustrative purposes