Students can’t work rollers and they need to stop pretending they can
You’re from the South, so put ’em down
Having spent almost a year living in Liverpool, we’ve all begun to recognise the phenomenon that is girls and hair rollers. Every Friday and Saturday, a mere walk through town means you should expect to be greeted by the shameless women going about their everyday lives with their hair resembling characters of “Whoville”, all in the name of fashion.
But most students aren’t Scouse. Don’t try and be inspired. We can’t pull off the pre-glam-in-public routine like they can. Rollers are overrated. To be brutally honest, they aren’t even worth all the hype. Rollers are tight and uncomfortable, and you can guarantee they don’t look right with anything you decide to wear. It’s impossible to be taken seriously with them on your head if you don’t have the accent. And if you have short hair, forget it. Instead of your intended glam look, you’ll end up channeling some serious early Tracey Beaker vibes.
Let’s face it, they aren’t something that should be worn in public in the first place unless you’re Scouse, so pairing them with what resembles pyjamas isn’t really helping you pass off the casual look as you stroll around town to find that perfect dress for tonight.
If you have enough time to put in rollers, you have too much time on your hands. Just think of all the things you could be doing as you wait patiently for your princess hair to form. After spending the entire day looking like a colourful cloud of hair, you carefully remove your rollers, only for your luscious locks to fall out during pre’s.
As the panic of your now fallen curls sets in and you realise those group photos aren’t going to plan, you resort to tackling the problem yourself, along with the help of several drunken volunteers.
Knowing you can’t replace those curls again without five hours to spare, you have to resolve to a curling wand, which, let’s face it, is what you should have done in the first place. Your barnet now looks a lot less Kardashian and a bit more Russell Brand, and you accept the fact that your hair looks like shit. Avoiding the photographer in Level is your only option for the rest of the night.
Maybe it’s a cynical view, because the average broke student can’t afford to get their hair put in rollers professionally for a bog-standard night out on Concert Square. Regardless, there’s just no point in having a head full of curlers for them to only last a couple hours in steamy juicy and be replaced by messy (and not in the sexy way) beach waves, instead of the glamorous curls you had envisioned. After all, wasn’t that the whole point of the curling wand? It’s time to face it, the days of the roller are well and truly over.