Poo floods, ketty cats and offers of ‘sexual therapy’: The UK’s worst flatmates

It’s fair to say that on top of Easter revision and coursework deadlines, the last thing we want to deal with are the annoying people that we’ve been bundled with in halls.

But if you think you’ve got it bad, we’re about to prove that it could be much worse. Meet the students who think they live with the UK’s worst flatmates.

‘She left a used sanitary towel hanging out of our bin’

Kat knows all too well what it’s like to live next to a particularly filthy female. She says: “Not only does she constantly ask to borrow all my toiletries, my straighteners and my printer on a weekly basis but my neighbour is so grimy and unhygienic.

But it gets worse. The History and Hispanic Studies student at Liverpool Uni said: “I’d probably say the worst thing she’s done is leave a USED sanitary towel dangling out of the bin in our bathroom. This is along with shavings stuck to the edge of the bath and skid marks that she hasn’t been bothered to clean.”

‘I find myself falling asleep to sex squeals and grunts’

Everyone knows that when you live in halls you can only ever be a few metres away from a raunchy romp – or two.

Hannah is one of many who’ve become victims of a sex sandwich. The Psychology student at The University of Manchester told us: “I literally cannot wait to move out of halls. I live on the first floor and am sandwiched between two couples. One above and one below. Not to mention the guy next door who also gets around a bit.

“I find myself falling asleep to sex squeals and grunts coming from behind every wall in my room – there’s no escape. Once, I was woken up by the couple downstairs at 6am. I should probably get out more?”

‘He constantly bangs on my window at 4am’

We can all name that one fag addict who smokes like a chimney, whatever the weather. But imagine one that continuously locks himself out in the early hours of the morning.

Poor Harry, a History and Politics student from Oxford Uni, experiences the extreme smoker on a whole new level. He says: “I can think of a couple of things people have done but I like the guys.  There is this one smoker though who has an awful sleeping pattern and goes for cigarettes outside at four in the morning without having been out, who has a tendency to forget his keys.

“This either results in lots of knocks on my ground floor window (which is seriously fucking scary to get woken up by) or just buzzing a random person until he can get it.”

‘She drank so much she had to move out’

Not only did Sheffield student Millie have to withstand a nightmare neighbour that didn’t know her limits… but her mother too.

She says: “At the beginning of the year, I really got on with my neighbour, I thought she was a good laugh. But for the past few months she has become unbearable. It’s impossible for her to come on a night out without getting unbelievably smashed. Fair enough, it happens to us all but the rest of us have to end our night early to get her home.

“It happened 3 times last week. It’s gotten so bad that she’s moved out of our flat! Her keyboard-warrior mother e-mailed us all saying we’re bullies… to be honest I’m just glad to see the back of her. We’ve already signed a contract for a house with her next year though… awkward.”

‘I witnessed him butter his first ever slice of toast in our first year of uni’

The mummy’s boy – you’re guaranteed to live with one. One Liverpool Physics student remembers when he gained a new tenant in the form of his flatmate’s mum. Dom says: “I don’t think I have ever met a bigger mummy’s boy than the guy that lives across the corridor from me.

“He is 23 years old and his mother comes up every two weeks to drop off enough frozen meals to last him till the next time she comes! He’s useless at cooking.

“When he is forced to cook himself a snack, he empties a tin of tuna and a can of baked beans into the same bowl & gives it a mix. Yeah, grim.”

Tuna and baked beans?! But that’s not all. “It gets worse. I witnessed him butter his first ever slice of toast in our first year at uni. I also remember him arriving at halls with 72 loo rolls, he kept them all in his wardrobe because he was that embarrassed! What an old sloop!”

‘He’s like a walking clinic’

A medicine student from Leeds exposed to us the nightmarish ways of his druggy neighbour.

She says: “His room stinks of ket. You don’t actually even have to be in his room to smell it. One step into our house and you’re confronted by this awful odour. He smokes all sorts in his room too. Honestly, he’s like a walking clinic.”

‘Darling let’s have sex and let’s have children’

The token mature student is never quite on your wavelength.  But some really are just downright odd.  Amy, a Sussex Uni Maths student, tells us about her nightmare neighbour and his strange sexual requests.

She says: “Basically, he is a thirty year old from Latvia who refers to us all as ‘darling animals’. We carried him into his room on the first night of freshers.

“He calls girls ‘chicks’ and his exact words to me were ‘darling let’s have sex and let’s have children’.

“He’s ok when sober but when drunk, he’s the creepiest thing ever. He offered all the ‘chicks’ a session of  ‘sexual therapy and guidance’. Full-on oddball.”

‘His poo-ey water leaked into the downstairs bedroom and forced my neighbour to move out for a week’

Probably the worst neighbour of them all. Poor Engineering student John, met his pooey-pa while studying at Liverpool John Moores Uni.

He tells us: “There are two main things he’s done that stand out. Once he left food in the oven overnight… the fire alarm went off at 4 in the morning and of course I was the one that had to switch it off.”

“But worse than that, this guy does massive poos. I mean huge. Once, he blocked the toilet & caused a flood in the bathroom. Poo-ey water then leaked into the downstairs bedroom, forcing my other neighbour to move out for a week. Cannot wait to leave this house next year!”

‘Her hair looks like spiders’

Alice, shares her bathroom with spiders as WELL as a nightmare neighbour.

The Liverpool Psychology student says: “I feel bad calling her a nightmare neighbour because she is my best friend at uni but she has the most annoying habit. We share a bathroom between us & every time she washes her hair, she leaves a tangled ball of it in the bath.

“They look like little spiders! I love her to pieces but the spiders need to go!”