The glorious Liverpool Uni is virtually rah-free, so it’s pretty tricky business spotting those privately educated whizz-kids.

Everywhere you go you seem to be swamped by a mass of hipsters and indie kids trying to make their mark on society (why else would you ever wear a scrunchie? They should have stayed buried alongside bright blue eyeshadow and crimpers).

But amongst them lies the privileged  14.3%, roughly 2,800 students mingling with the comprehensive lot.  How ghastly.

But in order to avoid them, you have to first of all be able to spot them.

#1 The Unforgettable Southern ‘Banter’

They talk the Queen’s English yar and abbreviate everything.  Run away whenever you hear ‘totes bants’ (really funny), ‘amaze’ (amazing), ‘potench’ (potentially) and any use of the words ‘golly’ or ‘gosh’.

#2 They totally like, go on about drugs and all the crazy shit they do

Most probably an attempt to define themselves amongst the hipsters.  Classic example of banging on about something to make up for the fact they know absolutely nothing about it.

Source: weheartit.com

#3 They live on Lark Lane

Because it’s practically the Chelsea of Liverpool.

#4 Red Trousers Replace Velour Trackies

How dare they break the Scouse code of honour.

It’s just not okay.

#5 They’re always trotting around campus in sports gear

Because as well as being rich, clever and well spoken, they can also play sport.  Brilliant.

Although why he’s wearing an LJMU hoodie in the SJ leaves a lot to be desired…

#6 Their hair defies the laws of gravity

Don’t ask us why, but as soon as you spot that quiff you know the Southern monotone will shortly follow.  Maybe their hair is so big to denote their enormous amounts of intelligence.  Or maybe they’re just compensating for something…

#7 They went to Magaluf and pronounced it Magaloof

They destroyed the concept of a lads/girls piss up in Maga by committing the cardinal sin.  And they probably took a gap year as well to ‘find themselves’.

“This experience made me a better person.”

#8 They’re a walking advert for Jack Wills

From the hoodie, to the gilet, to the shirt and jumper combo, right down to their knickers.  We get it, you’re minted.

#9 Home is somewhere with ‘shire’ or ‘ester’ in it

Worcestershire, Gloucestershire, Winchester, Oxfordshire…

#10 They’re in Alma de Cuba whilst the rest of us are necking quad vods in Faculty

Not all of us can afford those pricey cocktails y’know.  Who can argue with Faculty’s two for £5 offer on Woo Woos anyway?

#11 They were in Greenbank, before Vine Court became the new private school hive

They were just too good for Carnatic.

#12 They bring their pet rabbit to the SJ

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