10 things you should never do as a Lincoln student

You’re a student at the University of Lincoln, congratulations! Now I’m sure you’ve already attended plenty of talks about the city and campus life however there are just some things your lecturer won’t tell you. Maybe you’re a first year eager to learn more or even a third year who just loves to be reminded of all the mistakes they made, but no matter the case, this handy little guide will tell you everything you need to know. So, get your pens ready people because these aren’t your regular rules.

Don’t go to Quack sober

Don’t get me wrong Quack can be great fun, especially if you’ve already joined a society, but it’s not like any normal club night. From the oversized venue to the cheesy music, it’s more like a year 6 disco than a club. Still, with cheap drinks and a cheerful atmosphere it’s a good night out for students who aren’t really a fan of clubbing. For those of you who do enjoy the club, make sure you pre-drink. Hard. Remember to drink responsibly but don’t be surprised if you miss your Thursday 9am.

Don’t try to pet a swan

Although this one seems like a given, you’ll be surprised by the stupidity of students. Specifically drunk ones. Yes, they may look sweet enough, but those swans are not your friends. They run this campus and anyone who’s ever accidentally gotten too close knows that they are not to be messed with. Admire from a distance. Trust me.

Don’t forget your student ID

Now this your lecturer may have already told you but I’m not just talking about needing it to get into the library. On student nights clubs and bars sometimes ask you to show proof that you’re a student, so be sure you bring it with you just in case. As well as that, there are places all around the city that offer student discounts so it’s always handy to have on you. Moral of the story? Bring your student ID with you everywhere.

Don’t jump in the Brayford

Whilst this may be tempting for some, it’s not worth it. There’s a rumor that jumping in the wharf can get you kicked out of the university but whether that’s fact of fiction, it’s hardly the nicest river to swim in. The algae makes it look more like Shrek’s swamp if anything.

Don’t wear your nice shoes clubbing

If you want to ruin your shoes trying to impress your mates then ignore this one, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. There is nothing worse than a club floor so if you don’t want alcohol stains on your brand-new shoes, leave them at home. Also, don’t bother wearing high heels. You’ll be barefoot by the end of the night and if you’re not, you deserve a knighthood.

Don’t stick to one friendship group

University is all about making friends and you can’t do that if you only stick with the people you happen to share a flat with. Whilst it’s good to get along with your flatmates because who knows, some of them might just become your best friends, make sure you’re meeting other people in the meantime. If you’re unsure about where to start, then try socialising more in your seminars or perhaps join a society that interests you.

Don’t walk up Steep Hill with a hangover

This one is oddly specific but as someone who has made this mistake, it’s worth the warning. Steep Hill is a tough enough climb as it is but when your head is pounding it’s best to give it a miss or at least find an easier route up than The Strait. That’s unless you want to spend 10 minutes up the top heaving whilst trying to catch your breath.

Don’t turn up late to your lectures

Be on time and spare yourself the embarrassment of that awkward silence as you walk in and try to avoid eye-contact with everyone. Also, if you’re on a big course the likelihood of finding a seat next to someone you know or even at all is slim. If you’re a late-riser, good luck to you.

Don’t try and take the lift in the Minerva building

Following on from my last point, if you’re running late and have a lecture in Minerva, just take the stairs. You might assume the lift is quicker, but you’d be assuming wrong. That lift is packed like a tin of sardines and in the amount of time you’ve spent stood waiting in the queue, you could have already been up the stairs and sat down.

Don’t spend all your money in Towers

As cheap and as wonderful as Towers is, there are plenty of other pubs in Lincoln for you to explore. Don’t waste all your money in one just because it is conveniently on campus. Instead support small local businesses by drinking elsewhere.

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•Things that shouldn’t be embarrassing as a Lincoln student but actually kind of are

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•Clubbers of the week: Feeling alive in week five