The 10 stages of writing your dissertation

It’s just breakdown after breakdown really…


Dissertation – the one thing that every uni student fears the most but will inevitably have to face up to. If you're a fresher you can probably hold off worrying about this yet; you are safe for at least another two years so go and enjoy your social life whilst you still have one.

Second years, you might not be as safe, but you've still got some time left.

As for the third years, well, unfortunately the time is upon you. Strap in and prepare for a year of hell…

1. Initially, you might be hit with an overwhelming amount of fear as it suddenly dawns on you that you have NO clue how the hell you're going to write 10,000 words when, honestly, in the past there have been times that you've barely been able to scrape 2,000.

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2. Now that the initial wave of fear has passed over you and after abandoning every one of your ideas that has come to mind, you've finally managed to settle on a title. You might actually be naive enough to feel pretty excited about the whole

3. The first (of many) breakdowns hits you. As time begins to rapidly slip by, your stress levels only increase. It was inevitable though. Did you really expect to make it through third year without experiencing at least one mental breakdown?

4. Even MORE breakdowns – once they start, there's just no stopping them.

5. You then reach the point in the semester in which you begin to question whether there is actually a light at the end of, what seems like, a very long and dark tunnel? You even start to fantasise about what it's going to be like when you finally hand-in the finished product for good and which pub you're immediately going to hit up after doing so.

The library becomes your new home

6. Things have taken a turn for the worse as you add up the amount of weeks you've gone without Quack and you realise it's been over a MONTH. In fact, you've just turned into a complete social recluse and the library is now your new home. Third year is just the worst.

7. Stress, stress, stress.

8. By this time in the semester you're just becoming sick of the sight of your diss and want nothing else to do with it, despite your deadline looming scarily close. In fact, you tell yourself you're past caring (even though part of you still wants all of this stress to actually amount to something good).

9. The end is in sight, but you fall into ultimate panic mode as you do the final checks before finally printing and binding – also, how on earth do you even bind the thing anyway?

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10. Nothing but pure happiness and relief floods through you as the day you have dreamed of for so long finally arrives. After months upon months of stress and hard work, you are free to leave the library and see the light of day once again. Now go and get that obligatory 'dissertation pic', say good riddance and get yourself to the nearest pub – you deserve it.