Romford is the worst hometown ever

May you never have the opportunity to step onto its dark and dreary streets

home town romford

“I’m from Essex.” I say and the person I’m talking to gives me the look of sympathy.

As the wonderful Gemma Collins, who recently left the jungle due to “Malaria”, said: “I’m just a local girl from Romford!” and at these few words Romford hit rock bottom.

Known for the “great night life” and its “fantastic market” Romford is one of the worst places to live.

Looks welcoming doesn't it?

Looks welcoming doesn’t it?

Yeah, that “fantastic market” was once great and historical, but now its just full of people trying to flog you a cheap pair of leggings that’ll break after two days.

It’s on every Wednesday and Saturday you won’t be able to miss it, the screeching cries of “TWO GRAPES A POUND” can be heard all the way down the high street and are shrill enough to remain with you until your dying day.

To be honest, the market is just full of slow people trying to get the best bargains on some oranges.

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What a beautiful market

Apparently the market shop owners like to sell to the public topless. This is a Romford market seller in his natural environment.

Not a pretty sight.

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The naked seller and his bottle of coke.

With the high street comes the “great night life” Romford has to offer.

Yes, there’s a vast and fascinating array clubs and bars that are just waiting to kick you out due to your disorderly behaviour – because let’s face it, there’a lot of it.

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The picturesque Kosho nightclub to name but one

On Thursday nights you’ll see the streets filled with sick, piss and the odd homeless person trying to get into the clubs. Friday morning in Romford is not a good place to be with vomit lurking on every street corner and bus stop alike.

One positive from living in Romford is the use of London buses and the fact that you get free oyster card travel up until the age of 18, great right?

Well not so great actually, because this means the chavs get to ride free too.

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Don’t they all look cheerful?

Here you will see the young chavs, the youths, in their natural environment. They’ll be chatting loudly at the back of the bus on stolen iPhones about weed, dealers and going down Cottons park for the smoke up session later, you can’t get on a bus without bumping into one of these creatures.

On the bright side though at least you might be getting the bus out of Romford and never coming back.

So there’s Romford for you, may you never have the opportunity to step onto its dark and dreary streets.

I’ll leave you with this beautiful song by one of the Romford locals. A true musical genius.

The Tab is running a competition to find the worst hometown in Britain. At the end, we will hold a poll to vote. To submit yours, email [email protected]